Beyond the Staff
by Bethany1
Summary: **COMPLETE 12/02** This is my version of the story of Setsuna, from her birth in the Silver Millieum forward.
1. Prologue

Just a note to readers: I have rated this chapter PG-13, I don't  
usually do this, but this chapter is very graphic. It may be disturbing   
to some younger readers. Just like with anything else in this life, if   
in doubt - don't do it. If you'd like to simply skip this chapter, you   
can pick up at chapter 1. Otherwise, happy reading and normal author's   
notes at the bottom of the page - enjoy!  
  
@------  
Beyond the Staff  
By: Bethany  
Prologue  
Editor: Meara  
Rated: PG-13  
@------  
  
The room was pitch black. The never-ending abyss  
stretched on in every direction. Darkness. As hollow and  
empty as the deepest dwelling places of the mind and the   
farthest expansion of space. One strangled cry that seemed  
to come to a violent stop followed by the silence that   
echoed within the vast regions of time.  
  
Her screams had stopped long ago. They wouldn't help,  
anyways. There was no one here to listen. Solitude in this   
time of need ate at every emotion lined nerve within her small,  
fragile body. Alone. The sound of her heavy breathing seemed   
intensified as another pain hit, hard. Stabbing her stomach   
and lower back until she arched on the floor she laid upon -   
her eyes so wide that pain shot through her head from the   
effort to not scream.  
  
Blood streamed down her face, colliding with the patches  
of sweat and mixing with them, dripped down her face and neck,  
was absorbed into the fabric of her shirt. She bit her lip harder,  
forcing back the urge to let a pain filled howl escape her. The  
pain coursed through her body - nonstop now. Pressure built up,   
forcing the child in her womb further until finally - birth.  
  
The dead silence was ripped apart - letting the first  
wails of a child penetrate the once silent area. Lifting the  
babe up, the new mother placed the umbilical cord in her mouth,  
biting it in half. Tears poured down her face as she sloppily   
tied the cord. The newborn babe laying on her stomach continued  
to cry.  
  
She imagined the beautiful child had perfect fingers, ten  
tiny toes and his eyes. She had to have his eyes - otherwise she  
would resent his child - never able to love her. But even in the  
darkness, the endless abyss, she knew. And the pain didn't matter,  
the suffering was nothing. All that would fade - but this, this   
life would last. Would be the only thing that belonged to her   
that nobody could take away.  
  
"I shall name you Setsuna," she whispered to the baby girl  
wrapped in the shirt off her back.  
  
The new born quieted in the young girl's embrace as exhaustion  
set in. Tucking the sleeping child safe against her side, the woman  
pulled herself into a fetal position and also fell into a deep   
slumber.  
  
A noise, not that of the sleeping child, woke Mayuki up.   
Fearfully she scooted towards the wall, the greasy feeling of   
after birth clinging to her skin. Pulling the new child to her chest,  
Mayuki watched in terror as the door to her prison opened.  
  
The dim light of the oil lamp burned the shadows back,   
bathing Mayuki in it's weak glow. Painfully she stared into the  
light, her eyes burning as her pupils dilated.  
  
The man came towards her, his large boots clucking against  
the wooden floor. Roughly he reached out, seizing the baby by   
the chest and brought it into the light. In response the child   
whimpered but, surprisingly, didn't cry.  
  
"So it lived," he stated, his ice blue eyes staring at it  
with hatred.  
  
Mayuki reached out towards baby Setsuna, tears falling   
rapidly down her face. "Please, give her to me," she whispered,  
her hand shaking badly even though she tried to hold it steady.  
"Onegai." When the man made no movement she cried out, painfully  
getting to her knees and reaching again for the baby. "Don't   
hurt her!"  
  
Suddenly the man let go of Setsuna, her small form falling  
towards her death. Mayuki reached out, catching the babe and   
pulling her close to her bare chest. With a hateful glare,   
Mayuki stared up at the man. "Leave us."  
  
The ice in her tone, the hate in her eyes caught the man  
off guard. No one had ever dared look at him with their true   
feelings said so loudly on their features - usually they would  
be beheaded for such an act. But this time he took an uncertain  
step backwards. This child sitting before him, with her new baby,  
could ruin him and cause the downfall of his kingdom. His breath   
came in ragged, quick gasps as he stepped backwards and then   
spoke again. "Get out of here. I never want to see you or that  
wretched child ever again."  
  
Grinding her teeth against the pain in her body, Mayuki  
stood with the child. "This is your flesh and blood," she spat.   
"You can't deny that. You'll live with this the rest of your  
years," she predicted.  
  
"LEAVE!" he boomed, his voice vibrating off the walls.   
"Get out of my sight before I kill you both!"  
  
Mayuki's eyes widened in fear. Clutching the child, she  
ran past the man and into the night.  
  
~~~~*~~~~  
Apx. twelve years later   
~~~~*~~~~  
  
"Spooky!"  
  
A young child of eleven years covered her ears with both  
hands as she walked away from the crowd of children. Tears ran  
down her face, dripping off her chin.  
  
"Bastard child! Spooky Setsuna and her green hair!" the   
children taunted, their laughing and giggling following Setsuna.  
  
Determinedly she tried to block the voices, but they echoed  
in her mind. Over and over again they taunted her, called her   
names. Reminded her, as if she needed it, that she had never   
fit in with other children her age. Due to the lack of friends,  
Setsuna had buried herself in school work from the day she  
could pick up a book. At eleven she found algebra and other  
mathematics easy. She read volumes of books, loosing herself in   
facts about the universe in order to forget the hardship of life.   
But no amount of knowledge would hide the hurt in her eyes from   
her mother.  
  
Setsuna could remember no one in her life that was as   
beautiful or as loving as her mother. She was always there -   
hugging and raining kissing on her only child. And no matter   
what the children at school said; it never bothered Setsuna   
that she had no father or that her mother was a youthful   
twenty-seven years old. And they were poor, the poorest family  
in the village. But no matter how bad things got, Setsuna could  
never remember being hungry or without clothing and shoes.  
  
This particular afternoon Setsuna dried her tears before   
walking up the pathway and into the small cottage she lived in  
with her mother. The recent rain was still dripping off the   
roof and into the barrels that would be tomorrow's bath water.   
The sound soon faded as Setsuna walked in the house, dropping   
her school bag at the door and removing her shoes. "Mama! I'm   
home!"  
  
When she received no answer, the young girl walked into  
the bedroom where she found her mother laying sound asleep on  
the bed. Tip-toeing out, Setsuna almost made it to the door   
when Mayuki turned over. "Oh, Setsuna. I'm sorry. Please, come  
to me."  
  
Slowly Setsuna turned, walking back to the bed and sat   
beside her mother. Mayuki reached up, running her fingers   
through Setsuna's waist length emerald hair. "How was your   
day?"  
  
Setsuna's magenta eyes danced around the room   
momentarily before falling on her mother. She looked a   
great deal paler today than normal. And her eyes seemed   
to be sunken in her head. "I read a new book today, Mama.   
It's about the Moon Kingdom. And it had pictures of the   
Queen Serenity and her newborn daughter."  
  
Mayuki smiled sadly, her eyes suddenly filling with   
tears as she stared off into space for a minute. Licking   
her parched lips, she strained to sit up and pull Setsuna   
to her breast. "My baby," she began, her voice thick with   
emotions. "I didn't ever want to tell you this, even though   
I knew one day you may ask. And then I would tell you. But   
I never imagined it would be this way."  
  
"Mama," Setsuna moaned, actually feeling physically   
sick from the pain in her mother's voice. "I don't understand.   
Tell me what?"  
  
Mayuki looked weak, years older than her twenty-seven.   
Her hair that once lay in beautiful waves on her shoulders,   
was now stringy and thin. The bright green eyes of her childhood   
gone, stripped away by years of hardship. Pain crossed her   
features as she finally meet her daughter's eyes.   
  
"About your father."  
  
--End Prologue.  
  
And there you have the Prologue to my newest set of stories.   
I plan on doing a number of seried stories about the early   
years of the senshi, starting with the Outer Senshi. Pluto's  
past has never been revealed, so I began with her because   
she intriqued me the most. And I won't lie about it, this   
story will not be a pretty one with happy endings. I never   
pictured Setsuna being as strong as she is and having an easy  
life.  
  
Anyways, as usual, I don't own Sailor Moon or any of the characters  
I've borrowed to make this story. I do own this story line, ideas,   
and characters that I create - do not use them without my express   
permission as I will get really mad and beat you with a lip noddle.  
  
Huge thanks to everyone who reads this story, now if only you   
could be so kind as to write a review or drop me an email with   
your thoughts, comments, or suggestions. I'll be your bestfriend   
forever =)  
  
I'm eternally thankful to my editor, Meara. Without her you would   
be staring at a blob of bad grammer and misspells. ^_^; For everyone  
who is wondering about my other story, No Greater Love, I have   
finished the last chapter and will be releasing it with this one.   
The next book in that story "Forever More" is being written and   
will be released as I release this one. That means...? It will   
take longer to get these stories out. I imagine I will be releaseing  
one chapter of each story every three weeks or so. Please don't kill  
me, I promise the chapter's length will more than make up for the   
time extension.  
  
If you are still here, then I will proceed now to a self promotion.  
My web page, Moon-Bunny.org, has a new message forum !! Yay! No   
annoying pop up ads, no slow loading - we have a total of six   
members, we don't bite, so please feel free to join us   
http://Moon-Bunny.org/forum The layout is really ugly until you join  
and change your theme preferances, and then it turns blue and pretty   
^_^ Hope to see you there!  
  
3 Bethany  
http://Moon-Bunny.org  
Bethany@moon-bunny.org  
08-19-02 


	2. Life as I knew it

Author's notes at bottom - Enjoy!  
@~~~~~~  
Beyond the Staff  
Chapter One - Life as I knew it  
By: Bethany  
Editor: Meara  
Rated: PG 13  
@~~~~~~  
  
Temporarily I found myself blinded by my mother's hair  
as she pulled me down and rested my head upon her breast.   
Faintly I could hear her heartbeat in my ear, but what caught  
my attention most was the odd rattling that occupied her every  
breath. Worriedly I positioned my head so I could look into   
my mother's beautiful face. It took her a moment to begin. She  
closed her eyes, remembering things I never could. And it hurt   
her, I could feel it in her racing heart and heard it in her   
voice when she finally began.  
  
"I was fourteen when I was called to court to be a Lady  
in Waiting for Princess Adara. I was removed from my home and  
taken to the palace in one very short evening. Grieving,   
missing my parents greatly, I mopped around the palace for   
months. A couple of days prior to my sixteenth birthday was   
when I meet him. I was sitting in the gardens, crying for my   
parents, when a young man sat beside me. Gradually we began   
talking and I found for the first time since arriving at   
that hateful place I could laugh. We spent hours together   
each day; walking through the garden, laughing and talking.  
We enjoyed each other's company greatly."   
  
She stopped for a moment, a lone tear traveling down   
her face that she wiped at in vain. "It wasn't until after  
we had become lovers and I became pregnant that I also found  
out he was the Prince. I suppose it was my blindness to   
everything around me that caused me to never know. In a   
depression deep enough, the world could blow up around one  
and one would never know. I could think of nothing else to  
do about my situation - so I told him I was with child. For  
months on end your father tried to find a way for us to be  
together. However, no one would hear of the nineteen year old  
Prince marrying a sixteen-year-old Lady in Waiting. Especially  
one as disliked as I was because of my deep grieving of my  
family. In the end he did the only thing he knew to do.  
  
"It was over in a flash, really. Together we went to his  
parent's chamber and explained the situation to them. Less  
than five minutes later I found myself being dragged to a  
dungeon by two guards. The King didn't want to hear of my  
condition, or about our love. He laid down a punishment  
for Setsutarou - he was banished from the kingdom until   
after I had given birth and was gone." The flood of tears  
that streamed down her face made my own eyes fill with  
tears. I buried my face deep against her chest and hugged   
her tightly. "I could hear him screaming my name as they   
carried us in two different directions. The sound of his   
voice still haunts me. The last words I ever heard from   
his mouth; 'I love you, both of you.'"   
  
The silence stretched on in the room. About five minutes  
or so later I looked up at my mother, but she was still staring  
out into space. The information she had told me might not have  
made sense to a normal twelve year old... and suddenly I wished  
I hadn't learned so much in my short life. Then I wouldn't  
understand either. But as it was, I understood all too clearly.  
  
Royal blood ran through my veins, and no one on Pluto   
except for the King, the Prince and my mother knew. I saw my   
father in a different light now - where once I had thought he   
choose to leave us, I now knew he hadn't. It must have been   
hard, for a Prince to decide between the woman he loved and   
his country; his duty. I'm not sure I could have made the   
decision myself.   
  
"After you were born," my mother suddenly said, picking  
up her story again. "I was banished from the kingdom - and if  
I wanted us to live, I was to leave and never return. Also, never  
to mention that I had given birth the first born to the   
throne of Pluto. By the time I had spent five months in the prison  
the King had placed me in, I only wanted to leave with  
you. So I did. I traveled here, where I tried to begin a new life.  
But I was always seen as a cast away, an outsider that didn't  
belong. I had no roots here, my parents were of no help because  
they would have known I had gotten pregnant in the realms of  
the palace walls and begin asking questions. So for our lives,  
I started anew here."  
  
In her pause, I finally brought the question that was  
burning in my mind to surface. Pushing back my hair with my  
hand, I looked up into her green eyes. "Mama, why are you  
telling me this now?"  
  
She didn't answer me for a long time. Minutes ticked by  
softly, but I paid them no heed as I stared into my mother's  
face. She seemed to age right before my eyes, sinking into the  
pillows she laid on. I felt my chest become heavy, my heart   
knowing before my mind what was about to happen.  
  
"Setsuna, my beautiful, precious baby girl," my mother   
whispered in my ear, running her fingers through my long mass  
of hair. "My Setsutarou's daughter," she began crying softly,   
tears slowly sliding down her face and off her chin. I wanted   
to wipe them away, but I couldn't move. So instead I lay on my  
mother's bosom and listened to the words that would change my   
life forever.  
  
"I had hopes of seeing you graduate from school,   
hopes to see you happily married and the sound of your own  
children at my feet before this happened. Setsuna, I'm dying.  
The doctor was here just before you came home from school and  
said that there is a tumor on my brain. I tell you this now   
so that you don't become a ward of this city when I'm gone."  
  
I tried to pinch myself, for surely this was a horrid   
nightmare. The tears in my eyes made everything so blurry,  
but I didn't care to see straight. If everything remained   
hazy, there was still hope I was dreaming. My heart pounded   
loudly in my ears, fear and sadness already making its home   
in my chest and in my days. I shook my head no, denying what   
she said to be true. But my mother had never lied to me,   
perhaps she had been lied to. Perhaps...  
  
"Setsuna, it's true. I know how hard this is, but you   
are a strong girl. You have my will and your father's knowledge,  
and more than I have ever dreamed for you will become reality.   
You must go to the Prince, tell him who you are. The King is   
sick and surely hasn't the strength to deny you. Please do   
this, for me. So that I may lay in peace."   
  
As the afternoon sun broke through the rain clouds   
and faded through the cloth that served as a curtain to my  
mother's room, I promised her that I would go to the Palace  
and reveal who I was. And at the delicate age of twelve, I   
had no idea all that would come with that promise. No idea   
of the hardships, heartaches and pain that tagged along. It   
would be a lesson learned in time.   
  
Time, which would show me the way. Time that would   
comfort me. Time that would be my prison for all eternity.  
  
~~~~*~~~~  
@------  
~~~~*~~~~  
  
One year and nine months later I stood outside in   
the rain, much like the cold rain that had fallen the day  
my past was revealed, and watched my beautiful mother   
lowered into the ground. No tears stained my face, my   
well of tears had dried. Instead I seemed to be outside   
my body, watching as everything transpired around me. No   
friends comforted me, I had none. No family shared my grief,  
I was alone in this world that only offered me bitter cold   
wind and gray days.  
  
I dropped a solitary rose into the ground and turned to run away   
from the sound of the dirt sealing my mother forever in the darkness.   
I ran until I reached my house, but even then I didn't cry. I simply   
began walking to my room, staring at everything with a dull pain   
coursing through my body.  
  
Mechanically I opened a cloth bag and began filling it with my   
few belongings. How my heart hurt when I descended the three steps of   
our porch, leaving behind the home that had seen my first words, first   
steps, and childhood dreams.  
  
Goodbye memories of her smiling face lighting up as I ran up the   
yard and into her open arms. Goodbye to the sound of the rain pounding   
on the tin roof and seeping through the cracks and into pots and pans.   
Goodbye warmth, love and comfort.  
  
Goodbye, Mama.   
  
@~~~~~~  
  
The days that followed all seemed hazy when I look back on them,   
but at the time they were as real as the sores on the bottom of my   
feet. I left Higo, the village I had grown up in on a northwards trek   
towards the capital. When my mother had fled there nearly fourteen   
years earlier, she had somehow made a ten-day journey before settling   
down. This was only my third day of travel and already my feet hurt so   
badly I could barely stand.  
  
I approached another village and draped my cloak over my head.   
Most people paid me no mind when I passed through, asked for directions   
or offered a service in trade for a meal. But still I knew that the   
back roads of some larger towns were the home of evil men who rapped   
and killed young girls like myself. I gave an involuntary shiver and   
hugged my bag of belongings closer to my chest as I made my way down   
the main street. A horse and buggy passed me, the dirt lingering in the   
air and making my eyes water. The Moons hung lazily in the eastern sky,   
telling me that night was approaching fast.  
  
Just ahead of me was a splintered sign indicating an Inn. It hung   
from a metal pole that squeaked as the wind blew it. It wasn't one of   
the nicer places to stay, but then I hadn't been able to afford much   
better, either. I pushed slowly on the door, its hinges moaning in   
protest with a loud, high-pitched squeal. Inside was a small table with   
two chairs and one elderly lady sitting to the left, needlework in her   
hand. Her silver hair had just a hint of gold to it, suggesting she may   
have once had a full hair of blonde hair. She wore it pulled back into   
a loose bun, held together with a knitting needle. As I came around the   
corner and into sight, she lifted her eyes up wearily and put her   
needlework on the table. Watery hazel eyes bid me welcome as she pulled   
a wooden cane over to try and stand.  
  
"Oh, don't get up on my account, Ma'am," I said, waving my hands   
in front of me. I pulled my cloak away from my head, letting my waist   
length green hair fall down in waves. I stepped closer to the lady,   
smiling as warmly as my tired face would allow. "I came upon your Inn   
and I need a place to stay the night. I haven't much money, but I could   
work off my debt."  
  
"You travel alone, young one?" she asked, a look of both   
suspension and surprise on her face as she looked past me and seen no   
one.   
  
"Yes Ma'am, I do. Do you have room open, please?" I repeated when   
she didn't answer. She scanned me from head to toe, taking in my face,   
long hair and concentrating most, it seemed, on my small bag of   
belongings I held tight against my body. I felt a line of sweat form on   
my forehead as I stood under her inspection. "Ma'am?"  
  
"Upstairs, second door on the right you will find a room. We will   
discuss your payment later," she commanded and picked her needlework up   
again. As I ascended the stairs I felt like I had just been branded,   
and approved from the looks of it. I wasn't sure if that was a good   
sign or not.   
  
I hurried up the steps and onto the second floor landing. Once I   
turned the corner, however, I was in for a shock beyond my imagination.   
The rickety hardwood floor was suddenly covered with expensive, plush   
red carpet accented lightly with gold thread. The walls were clothed   
with a white silky material and wooden tables sat between every door   
down the hall, vases of assorted flowers upon them.   
  
Ahead of me, further down the hall, a door swung open allowing   
loud dance music to fill the hall. A woman stepped out, a cigarette   
angling from her full, rose red lips. She had short jet-black haircut   
around her face and enough rouge on her face for three people. But the   
most shocking thing was the outfit she wore. The bright red dress on   
her figure looked painted on it was so tight. Her full breasts were   
jetting out the top of the garment, and then clung to her shapely   
figure until just below her thighs, making her legs seem that much   
longer. She walked past me, her piercing blue eyes casting a downwards   
glance at me. "Who are you?" she asked, blowing cigarette smoke in my   
face as she spoke.  
  
"Eh, Setsuna," I mumbled, not sure what to say and scared to say   
nothing. She reached out her hand, her long nails painted in the same   
color as her dress, and felt of my hair.  
  
She seemed to size me up, and then a look of bewilderment clouded   
her features. "You're terribly young, aren't you?"  
  
"I'm just passing through," I replied unsurely.  
  
"Right," she mumbled. "You a runaway?" she asked, pointing to the   
bag I held close to my chest. "I'd suggest that you go home, girl. This   
isn't the life I would suggest for someone as young as you. Believe   
me," I seen a far off look in her eyes and then suddenly she snapped   
her head, like realizing where she was. "I ran away when I wasn't much   
older than you, came here all the way from Earth," she bragged.  
  
I felt my eyes grow huge. There wasn't many with hair that jet-  
black on Pluto, I knew. But to have came here all the way from Earth? I   
couldn't resist asking more. "Why did you choose here?"  
  
She looked shocked, like many had asked why she came here rather   
than why she had chosen here. She placed her cigarette bunt in a   
flowerpot and blew the remaining smoke towards the ceiling. "It is the   
furthest point in this Galaxy away from Earth, and I wanted to be far   
away."   
  
Intrigued, I started to ask more when another door opened,   
laughter filling the hall. The sound seemed to be a reality check for   
the young lady and she took another step away from me and towards the   
steps. "How old are you?" she asked, this time not looking as   
interested by my answer as before.  
  
"I'll be fourteen in two days," I replied, wondering at the same   
time if I should have tried to pass for older.  
  
She shook her head, looking sadden by my answer. "That's even   
younger than I was," she mumbled, more to herself than to me, it   
seemed. And without another word, she went around the corner, her heels   
tapping on the wooden steps.  
  
I quickly turned the handle to the room I was suppose to stay in   
and went inside. I pressed my back on the cool wooden surface and   
closed my eyes in relief. On the other side of the polished door was a   
room that the cottage I had grown up in would have easily fit in.   
Against the far wall was a huge canopy bed with blue satin sheers all   
the way around it, and the blankets on it a different shade of blue.   
The walls were white with blue thread and the carpet was as plush as   
the hallways, just like walking on clouds. To my left was a sitting   
area with a love seat, two chairs and a table decked with fruit and   
peanuts. To my right was a wall length vanity table covered with creams   
and make-up.  
  
I put my bag down and inspected the adjoining bathroom. New   
looking brass fixtures were on the sinks, tub and toilet. Mirrors lined   
the walls surrounding the tub. A huge walk in closet was placed at the   
far end, robes hung on one side and slippers just under them. Sitting   
on the sink was two bottles of bath oils, as well as powder and   
perfume.   
  
I had never taken a bath in an actual tub before, and the urge   
was overwhelming. I turned the water on and slid out of my dress,   
pouring bath oil in the steaming water. After it was filled, I slowly   
eased myself in until the water was covering my entire body. The warmth   
of the liquid relaxed my aching bones and I closed my eyes.  
  
I must have fallen asleep, but I don't remember. The next thing I   
remember is thinking that the water was much cooler than before and I   
hurriedly stood up to wrap one of the plush towels around my body.   
Standing in front of the full-length mirror, I stared at the image   
reflected back at me. Surprisingly, the young lady I had become was   
pretty. I had my mother's smooth, peaches and cream complexion that was   
set off by my dark magenta eyes and emerald hair. I had always been   
tall for my age and the short towel wrapped around me intensified my   
long legs.  
  
I let the towel fall to my feet and I stared in wonderment at the   
body I had never seen fully reflected. My stomach was flat and the   
hardness of my breasts were protruding proudly from my chest. I turned   
many different angles, staring at myself over and over again. Was this   
really me?  
  
"You're quite beautiful," a voice said and I gasped, spinning   
around and trying to reach for my towel at the same moment. The elderly   
lady from downstairs was standing in the bathroom doorway, a small   
smile of satisfaction on her lips. "You mustn't let it go to your head,   
though. That is every pretty girl's problem."  
  
"Y-Yes ma'am," I whispered, my throat gone dry. She acted as if   
we were just standing in the hall talking, nothing unusual. I felt a   
blush creep up my neck and stain my cheeks blood red as I stood nearly   
naked under her gaze.  
  
"We'll discuss your payment now, hurry and dress," she commanded   
and suddenly she didn't sound like an elderly grandmother like she had   
downstairs. Still shaking with embarrassment and now apprehension, I   
slipped on a robe and hurried out of the bathroom and into the bedroom.  
  
On the love seat there was a garment bag laying next to the lady.   
I sat down in the adjacent seat, folding my legs under me. For a moment   
neither of us spoke until finally she began. "You may stay here for as   
long as you wish, under my conditions." Not allowing me to get a word   
in edgewise, she continued. "I need someone to be a server, a waitress,   
if you will. Any tips you make will be yours to do with as you see fit.   
All I ask is that you keep this room clean and treat the customers like   
they are royalty. Is that clear?"  
  
Unsure, I bit my bottom lip. But she wasn't going to continue   
without an answer. "Yes," I managed, wondering what I was getting   
myself into.  
  
"This is your uniform, you should keep it clean and yourself   
presentable. Go try it on, so that I can see if it needs any   
adjustments," she instructed, handing me the bag. I took it slowly and   
looked at her in confusion. "Go on," she urged, this time sounding   
again like a nice old lady.  
  
Unsure of what I was getting myself into, I went into the   
bathroom and closed the door behind me. In the garment bag she had   
handed me was appeared to be a harem's outfit. There was a small green   
bra with hundreds of sparkling sequence beads covering it. The pants   
were see-through except for the panties at the top and there was also   
sequence at the waistline of it. I stared in astonishment at the   
outfit; this was my uniform? Quickly I put it on and looked at myself   
in the mirror. I felt silly in this clothing, or lack there of. I   
stepped out of the room and the elderly lady stood up, a look of clear   
appreciation on her face. "It fits wonderfully."  
  
"Really?" I asked, astonished. Surely there was a mistake. I   
looked at myself, than at her.  
  
She walked around me, pulling my hair aside to inspect the back.   
"Oh yes. You don't have as large as breasts as the other girls, but   
your pretty face more than makes up for that." I wasn't sure whether to   
thank her for that or not. "I have brought you some make-up, but your   
face has a natural red of the sun on it, so you won't need much."  
  
I stared at the bag of cosmetics that she handed me and then at   
her again. She must be kidding! I thought insanely, touching the bag   
half out of curiosity like a child fascinated with the flame of fire. I   
had never seen real make-up before, except through the window of stores   
in town. And this woman was just giving me an entire bag?  
  
Perhaps my amazement and wonder showed on my face, because she   
laughed to herself as she stood up. "Have you never worn make-up   
before?"  
  
"Oh, no Ma'am," I replied earnestly, putting the bag down   
quickly. "My mother always said that natural beauty is the best."  
  
For a brief moment her mouth turned down in a frown as she seemed   
to size me up again. "Then I suggest you go home to your mother, dear.   
The world you're in demands that you hide your true feelings behind a   
mask and layers of make-up. There's no room for softhearted, innocents   
here. When you came in, there was a light of determination in your eyes   
that made me believe you would do anything to make your way through   
life. Was I wrong?"  
  
I stared at her, trying to lock away the tears that wanted to   
grieve just a bit for the mother I so recently lost. Instead I pulled   
yet another emotionless facade over myself, cowering behind it like a   
lost and alone puppy. "My mother has passed on, Ma'am," I responded   
evenly, taking my eyes from hers before she could read the pain there.  
  
She stared at me a minute, as though my words were foreign to her   
ears. The silence grew thick with unsaid words, to the point that I   
wanted to scream. Finally she turned from me and walked towards the   
door, her cane tapping on the wooden entryway. "Dinner is served at   
seven, you should be dressed and in the kitchen by six-thirty."  
  
I watched as she left my room without saying another word, and   
closed the door behind her. I let out the air my lungs had been holding   
and laid back on the bed. If the outfit I wore gave any implications, I   
may have just got myself in more than I could handle.  
  
@~~~~~~  
  
I had no idea where the kitchen was, so I prepared myself and   
leaned against my bedroom door, listening for the sounds of the other   
girls going down stairs.  
  
At promptly six-thirty I heard footsteps in the hall, followed by   
talking and giggling. I opened my door, making sure to lock it as I   
closed it back. There was two girls passing as I stepped out, and   
instantly they quieted and stared at me. I felt naked under their   
intense gaze that traveled from my feet adjourned with white high heels   
to my hair that I had curled and styled. I swallowed hard, trying to   
avoid eye contact. I felt dirty, and unprepared for the thoughts of the   
other girls here.  
  
Thankfully I was spared any further humiliation as the girl I had   
encountered in the hall earlier pushed her way through the crowd and   
grabbed my elbow. "What are you all staring at?" she snarled, which   
seemed to break the spell cast over everyone in the hall and they   
continued on their way. As soon as everyone passed, she pulled out a   
cigarette and lit it. "You okay kid?"  
  
I nodded my head, still feeling my heart pounding in my chest. I   
wrapped my arms around my midsection and stared at the floor as we   
began walking towards the stairs.  
  
The stench of cigarette smoke engulfed my nostrils when she   
exhaled. "Listen, Setsuna, the trick to surviving this place is being   
able to conceal your real feelings. You can't let anyone know that you   
are scared, sad - anything. Hide those feelings, deep inside or they   
will eat you alive. The girls aren't so bad, they just have to size up   
everyone new before they accept them. There is so many who don't make   
it, who can't hide themselves from everyone long enough to do their   
job."  
  
"How long did it take you?" I asked, taking my first good look   
around since we had started downstairs. We passed through a doorway and   
down a hall. On the other side of one of the closed doors we passed, I   
could hear a large crowd talking and laughing. I imagined it was the   
dining hall, full of men that waited for us to bring out their food so   
they could grope and stare at our bodies.   
  
She looked serious for a long moment before answering. "A few   
days, actually. I had prepared myself for what I would have to do to   
survive, so I adjusted myself as fast as I had to in order to do my job   
without letting it get to me." She shrugged, taking another hit from   
her cigarette and blowing it out slowly into the air. "By the way, my   
name is Akila."  
  
"Thanks," I mumbled, trying to push down the pounding of my heart   
as we entered the kitchen area. There was a long table full of trays   
that displayed delicious smelling food and a girl handing them out to   
everyone that past.  
  
"For what?" Akila replied, looking surprised at my sincerity.  
  
"For helping me, listening to me - for being kind to me when I   
know you didn't have to." I took my tray and followed the line of girls   
that went out the door.   
  
She smiled, sadly it seemed, and took her tray. As we entered the   
dinning room, a large roar of men clapping filled the room, followed by   
music. "Hey kid," she yelled as we parted. "Stay safe."  
  
I nodded my head just as I lost sight of her. I was pushed along   
in the crowd of women that began placing trays in the middle of tables,   
exposing half their chest as they did so. I gasped as I felt someone   
grab my bottom and squeeze hard. "Hey Genjo, we got a fresh piece of   
meat over here!" he called to his friend across the table who turned   
and smiled at me. I felt a shiver run up my spine, but I managed to   
hide the disgusted look on my face and force a smile, however small it   
was.  
  
To my utter surprise I felt him pick me up by my waist and sit me   
on the table beside his place. His hand was cold and rough with callous   
as he rubbed up my thigh. "A pretty one, aren't you? A little shy, too.   
But that's okay, we'll break you in."  
  
Tears sprang to my eyes, but determinedly I pushed them back. His   
hand was now under my see through pants and playing idling with the   
edge of my underwear. Across the room I caught sight of Akila sitting   
on a table also, laughing as she pushed away a man's hand from her   
breast. She smiled seductively and put a piece of bread in his mouth.  
  
With my mouth dry and my heart pounding, I tried to mimic her and   
pushed the man's hand away. From a part of me I didn't know I could   
conjuror up, I managed to laugh airily and pick up a roll. I pushed the   
little piece in his mouth, feeling my stomach turn like I wanted to   
vomit as I did so. He licked my fingers one by one, still smiling in a   
goofy way. "Maybe you aren't as shy as I assumed," he mumbled   
thoughtfully, picking up his beer to wash down the bread.  
  
The night wore on in much the same manner. It seemed every man in   
the room at one point grabbed my bottom or pinched my tender breast   
that ached for nearly five minutes after they passed. I felt so dirty,   
so full of shame. I was glad my mother was dead, so she couldn't see   
the humility I faced just for money. I wanted to cry, to scream - but   
none of that would do me any good. I had to continue on.  
  
The longer the music played, the drunker the men got. Some   
disappeared off with the girls and others passed out here and there.   
The air was thick with the stench of cigarette smoke and alcohol so   
much you could see it hanging lazily around everyone. I wanted to slip   
out and go to my room. With small smiles that I hoped was enticing, and   
allowing the men to grope me, I had made sixteen gold pieces. All I   
wanted now was to escape to my room and try to scrub my body clean of   
the dirt I felt was so deep I would forever feel it.  
  
Things were not to be so simple.  
  
I was nearly to the door when I felt someone grab my hand and   
spin me around. The first man I had encountered hours earlier had   
grabbed me, and was currently pressing his face to my neck. I struggled   
for a moment until I saw Madam staring at me from where she was   
surrounded by four men. I swallowed down my anxiety and allowed him to   
leave a smudge of wet kisses down my neck. "You smell so fresh, so   
new," he mumbled, his words slurred together by the alcohol in his   
system. "Let's go see if you are as pretty everywhere as your face is."  
  
Unwillingly I was practically dragged into the first bedroom we   
came to where I was crushed by his weight on top of me. I stared at the   
ceiling, wondering how I could get myself out of this mess, when I felt   
him begin to pull at my clothing.  
  
"No!" I screamed, uncaring if Madam heard me. "Don't touch me!   
No!" I screamed over and over, but either he didn't hear me or didn't   
care. I struggled, but his body was stronger than mine and he stripped   
me of my clothes as he began sucking on my skin and hurting my body   
where he fondled.  
  
I locked my legs together, or so I thought. But easily he pushed   
himself between them. I gasped as I felt his hardness push against me   
and pain shot through my body. I screamed as loud as I could, pushing   
on his body and even trying to but my head against his.  
  
Just before he betrayed me completely, he was thrown off the bed   
and into the floor. I continued to scream, reaching for anything to   
cover my nudity from the man who now stood at the foot of the bed. He   
raised his hands in a calming gesture and came closer, which only   
served to cause me to scream louder.  
  
"Please, stop screaming, I don't want to harm you." He sat beside   
me, wrapping a blanket around me as he did.  
  
I stopped screaming, but continued to dig my feet into the bed,   
trying to move further from him. "Get away from me! Get away!" I   
yelled.  
  
"Shhh," he whispered calmingly, moving to the end of the bed.   
"I'm not going to touch you, calm down." For an eternity we stared at   
each other, him in a calm, soothing way and me in complete panic. I   
caught my breath finally, and wiped the tears from my face. The man   
looked at me with obvious sadness in his eyes as I tried to collect   
myself.  
  
"You're so young," he noted, still looking surprised it seemed.   
"My name is Genjo, what's yours?"  
  
"Setsuna," I replied in a small voice that I barely heard. I   
wondered if he had.  
  
He smiled softly, his blonde hair fell lazily over his forehead   
and his soft brown eyes stared at me while I calmed my pounding heart.   
On the floor, the man who had tried to rape me began to stir and I   
whimpered. "Easy," Genjo said soothingly, checking the man on the   
floor. "He's passed out, he can't hurt you." He stared at me and I at   
him for another minute before he spoke. "What is someone as young as   
you doing in a place like this, anyways?"  
  
"Just passing through," I replied evenly, moving my eyes from his   
intense gaze.  
  
"Where are you headed?"  
  
"The capital." He nodded his head thoughtfully and looked around   
the room. I pulled the sheet higher on my body, my muscles aching from   
the drunken man's earlier assault.  
  
"I'm heading to the capital city, myself. If you'd like I'll give   
you a lift. It can't be to safe for a young girl to be traveling alone,   
and I could get you there faster than on foot."  
  
I looked at the man on the floor, and recalled him calling out to   
Genjo earlier. I blinked, looking back at my benefactor. He smiled as   
he understood what I was implying before I said it. "No, I travel   
alone," he assured me. "I meet him the other night when I arrived here   
and he took me on for a friend, not the other way around."  
  
I wasn't sure what to do, but I had promised my mother I would   
get to the capital and find my father. And surely he had no evil   
intentions, or he wouldn't have saved me earlier, would he?  
  
He patiently awaited my answer and finally I nodded. I didn't   
want to stay here any longer, the money I made wasn't worth the   
humiliation I had to suffer to get it. He smiled, and for the first   
time I realized how young he looked. In my mind, though, he would   
always be larger than life. The man who had saved me, and would help me   
towards my goal. Forever he would stay in my mind like he was at that   
moment.  
  
Forever...   
  
@~~~~~~  
  
"Whoa..." Genjo called to his horse, pulling on the reins. We   
came to a stop in front of an Inn and dismounted from the horse. I   
followed behind Genjo slowly, not peeking out from under the hooded   
cloak I wore. He tired the horse up and grabbed our bags. "Follow me,"   
he said to me, taking my hand in his larger one.   
  
His hand felt warm in my cold one, and the heat seemed to radiate   
over my entire body. Around us light snow flurries fell from the sky   
haphazardly to color the countryside of the small village with its   
white brilliance. I had lived so far south that I had only seen snow   
once in my lifetime, but my heavy eyelids wouldn't allow me to enjoy it   
tonight.  
  
After checking in, we climbed the staircase into a small room. In   
the middle of the room was a small bed and one nightstand beside it. A   
couch that had seen better years about a century ago, sat to the right.   
The bathroom was off to the left and one window looked out over the   
town. Genjo dropped our bags on the bed and looked in the bathroom   
quickly. "Well, it's not what your accustomed to, by far..."  
  
"Oh, it's great. It's a great place," I replied, pulling my cloak   
off and taking another long look around. "Cozy, kind of."  
  
"Yeah," Genjo snorted, sitting down to remove his boots. "'Bout   
as cozy as a four foot space under a house that your sharing with a   
rattle snake. But it'll do for tonight."  
  
I giggled at the sour expression on his face and took my bag into   
the bathroom to change. After washing my face and pulling a clean   
nightgown on, all I wanted to do was feel the side of my face resting   
against a pillow. I came back out to find Genjo laying on the couch; no   
pillow, blanket or anything.  
  
"I have two pillows," I said softly, biting my bottom lip. "Do   
you want one? Or the comforter? I can just use the sheet."  
  
"I'm fine," he replied, his brown eyes looking at me with an   
expression I couldn't identify. But whatever it was he was thinking as   
he gazed at me, it made butterflies stir in my stomach and a warm   
sensation shoot down my spine.  
  
"Eh, well," I stuttered, shifting my eyes away quickly. "Good   
night, then." I crawled into the bed and blew the candle out. I thought   
myself exhausted, but now that I was laying down I couldn't sleep. The   
darkness was so bleak and empty, and the air so silent that my every   
breath seemed intensified. "Genjo?" I whispered into the darkness,   
praying he was still awake.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
I propped my head up on my hand, feeling some of the nervousness   
leave my body now that I had someone to talk to. "How old are you?"  
  
"How old are you?" he asked instead of answering my question.  
  
"I asked you first," I giggled. I tried to picture his face in   
the darkness, but couldn't. Somehow I suddenly wished I hadn't blown   
out the candle. "Answer me and I'll tell you."  
  
"I'm seventeen," he answered proudly, it seemed. "And you?"  
  
I laid my head back on the pillow, my face still towards his   
general direction. "I'll be fourteen tomorrow," I whispered. I felt   
exhaustion settle over my body; the traveling, my assault, and then the   
additional traveling had worn me down. "Genjo?" I said, followed   
quickly by a yawn.  
  
"Yes, Setsuna?"   
  
In my tired mind it seemed his voice was closer now. I nodded   
off, only half conscience of what I said. "I'm glad I met you."  
  
The darkness of my mind draped over my being and pulled me into   
sleep's gentle arms. But not so quickly that I didn't hear his reply.  
  
"Me, too, Setsuna. Me, too."  
  
@------  
  
"Are you as pretty all over as your face? Let's find out...."  
  
I struggled, twisted and turned under his great weight, but it   
was there - pressing my shape into the mattress underneath. No!! I   
wanted to scream, but my voice barely came as a muffled howl.  
  
Wet lips sucked at my neck, my collarbone, my breast--I tried to   
bite, scream, kick - but nothing... nothing... and I was falling down,   
deeper into the darkness. No! I couldn't stop fighting! He was going to   
rape me! Over and over again, he called my name as he pushed to drive   
himself into my body ... Over and over... and over....  
  
"NO!!"  
  
"Setsuna! Setsuna, wake up!"  
  
I gasped for air, rising up off the bed; kicking and screaming   
the entire way. Finally I forced my eyes open, breathing heavily as my   
heart pounded in an accelerated pace. Where was I? Who... who was   
holding me...?  
  
In a gentle wave of memory, everything came back to me and I felt   
myself calm down. It was alright, Genjo had saved me. I was far away   
from that place, and those people... Safe. My muscles hurt, my head   
pounding in time to the beating of my heart. Safe... Safe now.  
  
"Are you okay now?" Genjo asked. I had barely noticed how closely   
he held me against his chest. I felt foolish for having nightmares that   
woke him up. God only knew how bad he needed his sleep after traveling.  
  
"I'm fine," I whispered, willing my body to move away from him.   
But my heart knew better, I didn't want to be away from him. That safe   
feeling, was it from his arms that held me tight? Or his breath that   
warmed my neck?  
  
Gently he let me go and allowed me to lay back on the bed. "Shhh,   
just go back to sleep. I'm right here with you," he assured me,   
brushing his thumb over my cheek. The small candle he had lit darted   
back and forth on the wick, causing shadows to dance on the walls of   
the small room. I laid awake for the longest time and Genjo stayed   
right beside me, watching over me.  
  
Sometime later I felt him climb up onto the bed beside me,   
wrapping his arms around my body. He didn't press himself to me, and I   
found myself not caring if he did. With the greatest of ease I cuddled   
up against his body and drifted off into a dreamless sleep.  
  
@~~~~~~  
  
Because of the way our room faced, the sun didn't come through   
the window. Still when it was high enough in the air, enough light   
shone through to wake me. My eyes closed, I stretched my body out to   
remove some of the stiffness.  
  
It took me a minute to realize that I was alone. Had last night   
only been a dream? Where was Genjo? Was he mad at me for acting like   
such a child? A million possible situations ran through my mind as I   
rose and dressed.   
  
I brushed out my hair and put it up in a ponytail. Still I was   
alone in the room. Just as I began to really grow nervous, the door to   
the room swung open slowly and Genjo tiptoed in. I watched with a smile   
as he put down a package and carefully closed the door behind him. And   
all of that, only to turn and see me watching him.  
  
"Eh, you're awake," he stated, as if he was explaining the   
situation to an audience. "I, um, expected you to sleep longer."   
  
"Oh!" I blinked, relizing I had slept rather late. "I usually   
rise early, I'm not sure why I slept in today." Even as my voice   
trailed off, he stood in the doorway, looking like he had just seen a   
ghost. After a minute of him saying not a word, I laughed. "Did I scare   
you that bad?"   
  
He blinked, shaking his head and then blinking hard again. "Wha--  
no! I, well, happy birthday," he said, blushing, as he handed the   
package in his hand to me.   
  
I looked at the small box wrapped in brown packing paper and then   
up at him. Tears burned behind my eyes, but I swallowed them down   
quickly and gently ripped at the paper. Inside was a jewelry box, the   
likes I had only dreamed of as I stared in store windows. I gasped as I   
opened it, peering in at the beautiful fine silver chain that lay on a   
piece of cotton within. On the chain was a small key shaped charm that   
sparkled in the sunlight.  
  
This time, I couldn't hold back the flood of tears. "Genjo,   
you... but... oh my goodness!" I finally exclaimed, plucking the   
delicate chain out of the cotton it sat in and admiring it. "It's   
beautiful, but you didn't have to do this. I.. I can't take something   
so expensive..."  
  
"Bah," he mumbled, his face beet red by now. "Don't worry about   
it. I can't think of a better way to spend my money."  
  
Caught up in the joy of the moment, I jumped up and threw my arms   
around him. We fell back onto the sofa, me on top of him, as we burst   
out laughing. Our faces were mere inches apart, both our breaths heavy.   
"Thank you," I whispered. In the back of my mind I pictured him leaning   
up, just a little, and kissing me. Did I want that? The way it played   
out in my mind was perfect, if only....  
  
Genjo stared at me for a minute, and then cleared his throat.   
"Your... eh, your elbow..."  
  
"Oh, sorry!" I exclaimed, jumping up quickly. Disappointment   
caused my eyes to burn, but I past the thought and pulled the necklace   
out of the box. "Could you put this on me?"  
  
Clumsily he latched the necklace behind my neck and I let it fall   
between my breasts. It felt warm against my skin, reminding me of the   
gentle smile he had as I opened the box. I felt a pleasant shiver run   
up my spine at the thought. When I turned back around he was picking up   
our bags from the floor. "Ready?"  
  
I glanced around, looking for anything I might have forgotten.   
Finding nothing, I nodded and followed him out to the horse were we   
once more began our journey.  
  
@~~~~~~  
  
The snow grew deeper the further north we traveled. The horse we   
rode on complained often, stopping and looking around as if for a warm   
place to run to. We passed many small, sleepy looking villages - some   
with families that looked to be living poorer than I did growing up.  
  
As I leaned against Genjo's back, I fingered the necklace that   
lay on my chest. A key. What a peculiar thing to choose for a charm, I   
thought. It looked like an old fashioned skeleton key with three tiny   
prongs. Simple, yet beautiful. I let it go, looking up curiously at the   
town we had reached. Genjo brought the horse in front of a tavern and   
stopped. "We can get something to eat here before setting out again. If   
I'm right, we can reach the next town before nightfall."  
  
I had no idea, so I said nothing. He helped me off the horse and   
together we walked into the small building. The tavern consisted of one   
huge room. On the far side a bar stretched the entire length of the   
wall while tables with a chair sitting on all sides were scattered   
around a makeshift stage in the middle. Currently a man with a guitar   
was standing, drumming out a mournful tune that no one seemed to be   
listening to.  
  
Genjo lead me to a table near the left wall and we sat down. I   
pulled my cloak off my head, letting my hair fall in waves down my back   
as I shook it out. I looked around at the pictures on the wall,   
advertisements for this or that when I first noticed the strange look I   
was receiving from a table across the way. An older man nudged his   
companion, and they both stared at me. I felt a shiver go up my spine   
and I turned quickly.  
  
Genjo, who had been paying more attention to the menu than to   
what was going on around him, looked up with his mouth open to say   
something when he seen the disturbed look on my face. His eyebrows   
wrinkled together in concern immediately. "What's wrong?"  
  
I shook my head, looking down. Surely they were looking at   
something else, not me. I was being silly to be so paranoid, right? I   
tried to shrug it off, but when I looked back over, they were still   
staring. And then, when I turned back to Genjo, the man and woman at   
the table on the other side were staring, too.  
  
Genjo, noticing where my eyes were wandering, turned to look   
behind him. "What are you two staring at?" he demanded in a rough, deep   
voice. I didn't know whether to sink lower into my chair or be happy he   
took up for me.  
  
The couple at the table behind him said nothing, but occasionally   
I would catch them looking up and talking as they pointed in my   
direction. Even the waitress took our order while staring at me until   
Genjo slammed his fist down on the table and demanded to know what she   
was staring at. She shook her head and scrambled away.  
  
I felt the familiar sting of tears building behind my eyes. What   
could be wrong? Was it my hair? I knew I my emerald hair was always   
being made fun of, but by grown men and women? Surely they wouldn't   
stoop to such childish behavior.  
  
"What is everyone's problem?" Genjo mumbled under his breath,   
glaring around at everyone. I shook my head, not knowing what to say.   
It was the most bizarre thing, to be goggled at like a specimen in a   
zoo. I wanted to disappear.  
  
As if reading my thoughts, Genjo stood up, taking my hand. "Let's   
get out of here," he commanded, dragging me along behind him. We   
mounted the horse and set out in a run out of the town. I stayed   
silent, gripping my arms around his chest with my eyes clasped shut.  
  
I glanced back at the town we were leaving and felt a rush of   
cold overtake my body. Was this how it was going to be? Would my father   
shut me out the same way mere strangers did? If he did, what would I do   
then?   
  
--End Chapter One.  
  
Wow, that took me forever to write! It will be about two or three weeks   
before you see another chapter, if not longer. These chapters are going   
to be very long (if you can't tell) so it will take longer to get them   
out. Eitherway, you can still let me know that you are reading my work   
by dropping me a line @ Bethany212@comcast.net or by leaving a review   
::hint, hint:: ^_^  
  
HUGE thanks to everyone who has reviewed my other stories, and those   
who email me and encourage me to continue writing *huggles* Also, lots   
of love to my editor, who keeps me straight and spelling correctly   
^_^!!  
  
See you in a couple of weeks for Chapter Two - Fathers and Daughters 


	3. Love at Last

@~~~~~~  
Beyond the Staff  
Chapter 2 - Love at Last  
By: Bethany  
Editor: Meara  
Rated: PG  
@~~~~~~  
  
Nearly an hour later Genjo pulled off the main road we had been   
on and onto a side path through the forest. We stopped by a small   
stream and dismounted the horse. I stared up at the night sky, the   
stars twinkling back at me kindly. There was a bit of a breeze, but it   
was warm and soothing to my troubled soul.  
  
Genjo began setting up a camp, and gathering firewood, all the   
time saying nothing. I tried not to think about the way we had been out   
cast in the last town we had been in, but it would stay on my mind for   
hours. Genjo caught some fish in the stream and cooked them over an   
open fire for our dinner. I ate little and then, claiming I was tired,   
climbed inside a sleeping bag.  
  
I awoke suddenly, sometime later. The large fire that we once had   
was gone, only smoldering ashes left. I blinked sleepily, looking   
around. The horse was tethered up to a nearby tree, but otherwise I was   
alone. Frightened, I sat up, looking for Genjo.  
  
The forest seemed to be alive with sounds and shadows playing in   
the moonlight. My eyes darted around, listening to an owl hooting,   
sometimes joined by crickets singing. Other noises also greeted my   
eager ears; the sounds of twigs breaking and the ground being crushed   
by weight. I tried to ignore the feeling of fear that made my heart   
pound and my palms sweat, but there was no denying it. Unsurely I stood   
up, listening. "Genjo?" I whispered, craning my neck so that perhaps I   
could hear more.  
  
Nothing but the hoot of an owl replied to my call. Frowning, I   
stepped away from the camp and towards the river, rationalizing that   
perhaps Genjo had gone for some water. I rubbed my arms with my hands   
to warm them as I walked, my every breath seemed louder, echoing in the   
vast forest around me. The tree limbs moving in the moonlight played   
tricks with my mind, whispering that someone or something was watching   
me, waiting to attack. I ran forward, stumbling over a tree root and   
falling flat on my face. I moaned, rolling over to my back. The stars   
above twinkled madly, mocking me. Stupid, foolish girl! they cried.   
Dragging others down with you!   
  
Slowly I tried to get to my feet again, but the second I put   
weight on my foot, it shrieked with pain. I let out a small yelp,   
falling to my knees. I looked around me, but the fall had made me loose   
my bearings. Everywhere I looked seemed the same, which way had I come   
from? Which way was camp, or the river?  
  
I considered calling for Genjo, but that would be stupid. I   
hadn't wondered that far from the camp, surely if I could just get   
myself up I could see the paths clearer. I found a large stick and   
placed my weight on my good foot so that I could walk. Convincing   
myself that the way I had decided on was the correct one, I wobbled   
along in pain.  
  
But after several minutes still I didn't find camp, or the river.   
The silence seemed to be deafening now, the crickets had suddenly   
stopped their mournful song and even the sound of the owl was distant.   
And to beat it all, my eyes were playing tricks on my mind. Everywhere   
around me, I saw things moving, imagining someone there. My heart   
pounded so hard in my chest it reminded me more of a drum. Scared out   
of my mind, my knees buckled under me and I sank to the floor of the   
forest, the stick I held my only defense.  
  
For hours I fought sleep, determined to stay awake so that I   
could see what was happening around me. But my eyes became heavier and   
heavier until they began closing on their own. I forced them open,   
blinking several times, but they closed again until finally I didn't   
have the strength to open them anymore.  
  
@-------  
  
"Setsuna! Setsuna!!"  
  
Groggily I lifted my head. Dried leaves were stuck to the side of   
my face and crackled when I sat up. The morning sun was beating down   
through the trees, and it didn't look nearly as scary has it had the   
night before. Several feet from me a small rodent scurried up a tree,   
stopping to look at me curiously before continuing up. In my hands I   
still clutched the large tree limb tightly, so much that my palms were   
beginning to bleed. Placing my weight on it, I tried to stand up. As   
soon as I did the pain stabbed through my foot again.  
  
"Setsuna!!"  
  
I blinked, looking around. The forest was alive with small   
animals and birds finding their breakfast. I saw no sign of Genjo. Had   
I just imagined his voice calling? I waited, but when I heard nothing,   
I assumed it was. Just as I was about to try and walk again, I heard my   
name shouted, clearer now than before. It was Genjo. My heart leapt in   
my chest and with all my might I screamed: "GENJO! OVER HERE!"  
  
"Setsuna?!" he yelled back. Behind me I heard the crunch of   
leaves as he moved towards me. As he came around a large tree, seen me,   
and broke into a run. "Setsuna?" he whispered when he came upon me   
sitting on the ground. "Are you okay?" I nodded, but couldn't speak. He   
was here, saving me. It wasn't a dream, it wasn't, I told myself.   
  
He bent down next to me, placing his hand on my face. "You're   
freezing!" Quickly he took off his heavy cloak and wrapped it around my   
shoulders. "I've been worried sick," he told me, rubbing my hands   
between his to warm them up. "I was searching the area to be sure there   
were no one about, and when I came back you were gone. I've been   
looking for you since. I don't know how you got this far from camp in   
such a short time."  
  
I said nothing, just silently watched as he rubbed my other hand   
until I could feel it tingling. He breathed onto my hands as he rubbed   
and I saw his breath in the air. Was it really that cold? My body was   
so numb I barely felt it anymore.   
  
"I've got to get you warmed up," he said, more to himself than to   
me. "Can you walk?"   
  
I nodded yes, but when I put my weight on my foot it went out from  
under me almost instantly. I yelped with pain and would have hit   
the ground again if Genjo hadn't caught me. With little effort at all   
he scooped me into his arms and took off for the camp.  
  
He built a roaring fire, the flames rising higher and higher as   
he added more wood. He wrapped me in my sleeping bag, but still I   
shivered. If anything, I felt colder now than I had before. My lips   
trembled, no matter how hard I tried to stop them and my entire body   
shook. I stared up at the sky, seeing small snowflakes beginning to   
come down.  
  
Genjo returned to the camp, placed another log on the fire and   
came to check me. His eyes looked so worried that I could have cried.   
Why was he so worried about me? I was no one to him, a stupid girl that   
he happened across the path of. But I could say none of this, only   
continue to tremble.  
  
To my utter shock, Genjo suddenly took his shirt off. I stared   
silently as he came over to the sleeping bag I laid in and unzipped it.   
"I've got to get you warm," he explained, lying down beside me. I just   
stared as he zipped it back up and then wrapped his arms around me.   
"Just get as close to me as you can, okay? My body heat will help you   
warm up."  
  
I could say or do nothing but what he asked. Within seconds I was   
pressed against his broad chest, listening to his heart pounding within   
his chest. I shivered for a few minutes more, but his body did seem to   
be helping. The shaking in my bones seemed to come further and further   
apart and the heat of my breath up against his chest warmed my face. I   
felt sleepy, but every time I closed my eyes he would tell me not to.   
"Don't go to sleep now," he whispered in my ear. "I need to be sure   
you're okay before you can sleep, or..." but he left off, suddenly   
squeezing me firmly to his body. I felt his muscles tighten, almost   
clamping down on me.  
  
Pulling my arm up, I ran my cold fingers down his cheek.   
"Why..?" I whispered, my voice cracking and my throat dry. "Why?"  
  
His brown eyes stared down at me with a look of puzzlement. He   
grabbed my fingers, holding them within his own. "Why what?" he   
mumbled, still staring intently in my eyes.  
  
"Why do you care... why me?" My throat was so dry I could barely   
push the words out of my mouth. I tried to lick my lips, but it didn't   
help any.  
  
He smiled as if he was recalling a time only he could remember,   
and from the way his eyes lit up, it was a beautiful memory. He brought   
his face closer to mine, still grasping my hand in his larger one while   
his other arm held me tight to his body. "The first night I saw you,   
something about your eyes caught me. Such a beautiful, strange color.   
They held so much wisdom, longing, and pain. Hauntingly beautiful eyes   
that I saw whenever I closed my own." He blinked, his nose nearly   
touching mine his face was so close. "I couldn't stop thinking about   
you, so I went to find you. And then I saw... I just wanted to kill   
him, rip him limb from limb. And you looked at me, so scared, yet so   
hopeful. Like you're looking at me now." And before I had time to think   
about what he was doing, I felt his lips pressed against mine.  
  
I had never been kissed before, but it was more than I could have   
ever imagined or read about. He let go of my hand, cupping my cheek in   
his palm instead so he could tilt my head back. I felt him slide his   
tongue into my mouth and I gasped with the feeling of someone touching   
me that way. So tender his hands were as they rubbed my back. I felt   
like I was easing into a warm bath, my body became warmer and my mind   
peaceful, yet excited at the same time. I didn't have to think about   
how to respond, my body had a will of it's own and my arms encircled   
his neck.   
  
Time seemed to speed up, yet stand still. I heard nothing but our   
breathing, felt nothing but his body covering mine and his lips on my   
own. His hands roamed to parts of my body untouched by another, sending   
waves of shock and tingling through my body down to my toes. When his   
lips left mine and traveled down my neck I laid back, my eyes closed in   
bliss. This wasn't the animal passion that forced that other man to   
attack me, this was different - this was right. I welcomed his body to   
mine, welcomed his kisses and fingers to do as they pleased. Welcomed   
the first ray of love I had seen from anyone in my life except for my   
mother.   
  
@------  
  
The snow fell around us, but it was no longer as threatening as I   
had viewed it earlier. Now it was beautiful, laying on the ground and   
trees. The sun made it glisten, the forest alive with the sparkling   
jewels its tree branches now held. A few birds that had stayed to rough   
out the winter flew overhead, their song seeming to be more gorgeous   
than I ever thought it could be. The fire roared on, sending waves of   
heat over our bodies. Not that I needed it all that much, I felt like I   
could never be cold again.  
  
Genjo held onto my body tightly, but he had grown quiet. I said   
nothing, not wanting to break the spell that seemed to have been cast   
over my mind. But I also couldn't help feeling that something was   
wrong, something needed to be said. Slowly I turned in his arms,   
sliding my fingers up his face gently and brushing a stray piece of   
hair from his eyes. "What's wrong?"  
  
I wondered if he would say. For a long moment, he didn't even   
look at me. And when he finally did, I was shocked at the amount of   
emotion I seen. "I'm sorry," he mumbled, pressing his lips to my   
forehead.  
  
"For what?" I asked, confused at the self-loathing I heard in his   
voice.  
  
He shook his head as if to rid it of a thought, and looked at me   
again. "You're too young, we shouldn't have... no, I shouldn't have   
just let that happen. I knew, but I thought I could stop myself   
before..."  
  
"Hey," I protested, putting a finger to his lips to stop him from   
talking. "Don't say that, please don't." I felt a familiar sting of   
tears behind my eyes, but I determinedly pushed them away. "I wanted   
you to, or I would have tried to stop you. I..." I stopped short,   
biting my lip. "Please don't say that you regret it," I finally said.   
"I won't be able to live with myself if you say it was a mistake."  
  
Whatever he saw in my eyes must have convinced him I was telling   
the truth. He buried his face in my hair, planting a kiss there. "No,   
not a mistake if you don't think it was. I just thought I could better   
control myself, and I was wrong. I'm mad at myself, not you."  
  
Propping myself up on my elbow, I smiled at him. "Don't be mad,   
there's nothing to be mad about."   
  
He shook his head like he didn't believe me, and brought my hand   
to his lips. I stared into his brown eyes, never wanting this moment to   
end. The memory of his kiss, of his fingers, would be forever engraved   
in my mind. His eyes captured my heart and I gave it willingly. So   
young and naive I was laying there wrapped in his arms, so very foolish   
to surrender to my feelings.   
  
@------  
  
Finally convinced that I wasn't going to freeze to death anytime   
soon, Genjo loaded our belongings into the saddlebags and we started   
out for the capital again. My foot still ached when I stepped on it, so   
that Genjo had to literally lift me up on the horse. He rode behind me,   
one arm continuously grasping my waist like he believed I would   
disappear if he didn't.  
  
We came into the capital city, Herron, at dusk. My body ached   
from riding all day, and my foot was stinging with pain. We were only   
at the outskirts of town, but I could see the large palace in the hills   
beyond. "How far do you suppose it is to the Palace?" I asked Genjo,   
trying to come off as just curious, since I hadn't told him the reason   
I was headed to the capital yet.  
  
He shrugged his shoulders, gazing into hills as well. "I don't   
know, a half a day of riding, perhaps." We pulled up to an Inn and   
Genjo tied the horse up. "Keep your cloak on, so that we don't cause   
anymore scenes like those yesterday," he advised softly, helping me off   
the horse. As soon as I put weight on my foot the pain shot through it.   
Balancing me, he bit his bottom lip in thought.  
  
"I can try to walk it," I mumbled, but he waved his hand like the   
suggestion was ridiculous.  
  
Suddenly he lifted me up in his arms, causing me to squeal in   
surprise at the unexpected action. "Just let me do the talking, okay?"   
I nodded and he carried me inside. The man behind the counter looked up   
from his paper work, blinked as if to make sure he was seeing right,   
and stared as Genjo walked over to the counter holding me. "Do you have   
any rooms available?" he asked as if it were quite common for men to go   
around carrying women. I felt the heat rise to my face.   
  
"Erm..." he mumbled, still staring at me. "I do." He paused as if   
considering whether to ask something or not. Finally he decided. "Sir,   
is she alright?"  
  
Genjo nodded his head. "She's twisted her foot and hurt it," he   
explained easily.  
  
The man looked from him, to me for such a long moment that I   
thought he might have seen my hair, even though I had a cloak over my   
head. Finally he cleared his throat. "Your wife?" he asked.  
  
"Yes," Genjo answered without hesitation. "I'm sorry, we've been   
traveling all day. You said you had a room available?"  
  
The man looked startled, like he had just remembered he was   
running an Inn, and nodded. He wrote something down and found a key.   
"Up the stairs, last door on the right."  
  
Genjo told him he would pay him when he came back down for our   
stuff and thanked him. When he made it to the second story landing, I   
broke into soft giggles. "What an easy liar you are," I accused him.  
  
He fit the key in the door and opened it. The room looked much   
like the first one we had stayed in, only a bit smaller. Genjo laid me   
on the bed, pressing his lips to my nose quickly. "But I would never   
lie to you," he whispered and went back downstairs. I smiled to myself   
as he shut the door.  
  
In no time at all I heard him coming back in the door. He put our   
bags down on the bed and I pulled out my gown and a brush. Somehow I   
managed to hobble into the bathroom and change clothes without too much   
pain. I came back, sat on the bed and began brushing my hair out. Still   
Genjo said nothing, just watched me intently. I couldn't help but go   
over and over in my mind what he said. His wife, he had told the man   
downstairs. I couldn't help a blush staining my face at the thought.   
Genjo's wife. I stared at myself in the mirror over the dresser, my   
hand still automatically brushing my hair. How stupid of me to even   
think such a thing! I scolded myself. I couldn't become involved with   
him! The realization that all my thoughts had been leading me to was a   
fantasy made my heart hurt. My mother; I had promised her I would find   
my father, reveal who I was. I couldn't break that promise to her now,   
not when I've come this far.  
  
My face must have shown my feelings better than I thought,   
because Genjo walked up behind me, placing his hand on my shoulder.   
"What's wrong? You look sad."  
  
"I do?" I feigned ignorance, even as my heart throbbed painfully   
in my chest. I swallowed down my tears, again raising the brush to my   
hair and stroking it downwards until my emerald hair gleamed; still I   
brushed. I had to say something; he was watching my every move.   
"Genjo," I whispered, trying to keep my voice flat. "Thank you, for   
bringing me to the capital," my voice nearly faltered at the end, but I   
caught it. "But I'm afraid I have to make the rest of my journey alone   
and..."  
  
A strange glassy look came into his eyes and abruptly he took his   
hand from my shoulder, the lack of warmth making my skin tingle. I   
avoided his eyes, and the pain that flashed through them as he stepped   
back. "And what?" he mumbled. "Now that you're here, that's it?"  
  
It took all I had to not cry out. "Well, you said you would bring   
me to the capital, and now we're here, so--" I never finished, and not   
because I wasn't going to. He turned and went out the door, slamming it   
behind him. I just sat, mouth open, at the place where he had been. In   
a matter of seconds I had went from the happiest person in the world,   
to the saddest.  
  
I waited for hours for him to return so I could explain. But   
explain what? I imagined him at this moment, cursing me under his   
breath, believing I was only out for what I could get from him and   
that's all. But that's not all! my mind screamed. You love him!  
  
"So?" I replied to myself out loud, crawling under the covers. "I   
can't do anything about it." Alone in the dark my mind wondered over   
what I had to do, and how I would manage it without Genjo. Thinking   
about him only made my eyes burn, and in the dead of night I gave into   
those tears and cried myself to sleep.  
  
Sometime later I awoke, my skin crawling with the feeling that I   
wasn't alone. Blinking back sleep, I opened my eyes cautiously. Across   
from the bed I could barely see a solute of a man sitting in one of the   
wooden chairs. The moons light lit his eyes up, making them glow. For a   
very short moment fear nailed me to the bed, but not for long. I knew   
that form, that body, those eyes - I would never forget them so long as   
I lived. "Genjo?" I whispered, my heart aching.  
  
"Go back to sleep," he replied softly, nothing but his mouth   
moving.  
  
I started to do just what he said, and put off the inevitable   
until the morning. But just knowing that he was sitting beside me kept   
sleep at bay. After a few minutes I sat up, reaching for the light   
switch beside me. The bulb cast a yellowish hue over our faces, making   
the shadows on the wall beyond enormous. "Genjo, we need to talk," I   
mumbled, my hands shaking.   
  
"Yes, we do," he replied evenly. I swallowed hard, but he had a   
head start on me. I imagined he had gone over this speech in his head a   
thousand times, because he didn't hesitate once. "I know you've got a   
past that I know nothing about," he began. He had no idea how right he   
was about that. "And quite frankly, I don't want to know, if it means   
we can't be together." I stared at him, open mouthed, as he stood and   
began pacing the floor beside the bed. His dark eyes turned to me every   
now and then as he spoke, pleading with me for understanding.   
  
"This may be the craziest thing you've ever heard, but hear me   
out. I left here tonight with no idea where I was going, or if I would   
ever lay eyes on you again. But I didn't make it to the edge of town   
before I turned around." He sat on the edge of the bed, reaching for my   
hands, which I allowed him to grasp. "I can't get you out of my head,   
Setsuna. Every time I close my eyes I see your face, your eyes. Every   
woman I hear has your voice."   
  
"Genjo, don't!" I insisted, trying to pull my hands from his. But   
his grip was too strong, so much more than mine. "Don't say anymore, I   
can't stand to hear it. Just leave, leave me before it's too late!"  
  
"I can't," he whispered. "It is too late for me, Setsuna. I love   
you. I want to marry you, spend the rest of my life with you,   
regardless of what is in your past. Forget it, just for one day. And   
then whatever it is you have to do, we will do together."  
  
I looked away and closed my eyes, my heart pounding so hard that   
I could feel it in my temples. Tears threatened to leak from my eyes   
again, but I trapped them. What should I do? I asked myself over and   
over again. He was asking me to marry him! I'm only fourteen years old,   
parentless, with a mission to complete because of a promise to my   
mother. What do I say?  
  
And then, like a gentle breeze warming my face, I heard my   
mother's voice. Like from a dream, her whispered words came to me as   
guidance. "Never turn your back on true love, Setsuna. No matter what   
the cost. Remember that."  
  
Ten years old, I sat and stared at my mother's reflection in the   
bedroom mirror. "But what about my father, Mama? Do you love him?"  
  
"There are things about your father you will one day understand,   
my precious," my mother told me, pausing to hold the brush she was   
using on my hair to look into my eyes. "I will always love your father,   
always. For true love isn't selfish." She acted as if she wanted to say   
more, but caught herself and again pulled the brush through my hair.   
But I wasn't thinking about that. No, I remember thinking how beautiful   
she was then, as she recalled a love that she had many times told me   
was bigger than life. How much I wanted to have that in my life, grasp   
it and on to it forever.  
  
I reopened my eyes, steady but silent tears trailing down my   
face. Genjo was looking at me with an intense gaze of hope and I   
smiled. I'm going to do what you said, Mama, I thought. I'm not going   
to turn my back on love.  
  
@------  
Note: this is assuming to be a time thousands and thousands of years   
ago. There are no laws stating the age of marriage.  
@------  
  
In a two-room cabin on the far edge of the capital city, I   
recited the vows that would forever bind me to the man standing beside   
me. The preacher and his wife smiled on as we sealed our words with a   
kiss and then congratulated us. When we stepped back outside I gazed up   
at the clear blue Heavens. Surely my mother was looking down at me now,   
as happy as I was.  
  
"What are you thinking about?" Genjo asked me as we rode back to   
the Inn on horseback.  
  
I leaned back into his arms, gazing at the sky once more. I   
smiled softly, kissing his jaw. "My mother," I replied faintly. My eyes   
took in the peaceful town as we passed through, staring in amazement at   
the snow covered cottages and buildings. "She told me once how she   
missed the snow. We lived so far south that it didn't get nearly cold   
enough to snow."  
  
"Hmm, I love the snow, it gives everything an untouched look," my   
new husband replied, wrapping one arm around me. I nodded, wondering   
how my life would be from now on. I had just married a man I knew less   
than a week, knew nothing about - yet I felt like it was just right. We   
had love - everything else would come in time. Love would be enough,   
wouldn't it?  
  
But it hadn't been for my mother and father. No matter how much   
they loved each other, it hadn't mattered in the end. I felt a shiver   
run up my spine. I was different, I insisted to myself. This is nothing   
like my mother and father's relationship.   
  
Genjo stopped the horse in front of the Inn and we dismounted. My   
foot, while still achy at times, was much better this morning. I limped   
slightly when I walked, but not so much that Genjo had to carry me.   
Hand and hand we went upstairs to our room.  
  
Genjo took his coat off, throwing it across the back of the couch   
and sitting down on the bed. He seemed to know my thoughts were still   
on my mother just by looking at me. "What did your mother die of?" he   
asked softly.  
  
I removed my own cloak, shaking my hair out to remove some of the   
melted snowflakes that had found their way inside my hood. "She had a   
brain tumor," I mumbled, the painful memory of watching my mother die   
before my eyes still lingering in the back of my mind. I was afraid the   
heartache would never completely go away. I climbed on the bed,   
cuddling up in my husband's arms. "What about your mother?"  
  
"My mom?" Genjo repeated, chuckling. "Ah yes, we'll have to go   
see her soon. She'll have a fit when she finds out I've gotten married   
and didn't come home for a huge wedding." His eyes were twinkling with   
mischief as he dipped his head down to kiss my lips. "But let's not   
talk about that right now, hm?" I giggled my agreement and nothing else   
was said.  
  
@------  
  
I had done as Genjo had asked and not mentioned anything about   
why I was in the capitol city on our wedding day. But I knew it   
couldn't be put off forever. The next morning Genjo, looking very   
happy, went to get us something for breakfast while I showered and   
dressed. It never stopped amazing me, the position I found myself in   
now. How very fast things change, I thought as I stared at the wedding   
band on my finger. Just a couple of weeks ago I left home on a journey   
that only promised sadness and despair, and now I was surely the   
happiest person on Pluto.  
  
But the prospect of telling Genjo about my past wasn't something   
I was looking forward to. But it had to be done, and the sooner the   
better. With my mind made up, I waited for him to return. He came in   
barely ten minutes later, a bag in each hand. He sat them down on the   
dresser, taking out a small loaf of bread and handing it to me. From   
the other bag he pulled out two containers of drink.  
  
"There you go," he said, grinning as he sat down next to me and   
took a large bite of his bread. "Fresh out of the oven, the woman   
said."  
  
It was very good, I had to admit, and might have tasted better if   
my mind hadn't been on other things. Slowly I took a drink of my juice   
and set it back down on the floor at my feet. "Genjo, there some things   
I need to get done today."  
  
My husband sighed, as if he, like I, wished that with the words   
of our vows we could forget everything unpleasant. But we both knew   
that couldn't be. I intended to keep the promise I made to my mother,   
no matter what.  
  
It was hard, nearly the hardest thing I've done in my life. As I   
explained the circumstances of my birth up to my mother's dying plea,   
Genjo's expression didn't change. When I finished I silently wiped the   
tears from my face with the back of my hand and waited.  
  
"Well," he breathed. "That explains a lot."  
  
"What?" I mumbled, puzzled. Obviously he knew something I didn't.  
  
He smiled handsomely. "Not bad. I've just heard some rumors of a   
girl with the royal hair color. Of course, I had my ideas it was you,   
but..."  
  
"Oh." So that's why everyone treated me strangely. There was so   
little I knew about my past, my heritage. What other surprises lay   
ahead? "So now what?"  
  
Genjo's eyes lit up with surprise and he stood up, pulling his   
cloak on. "There's only one thing to do. We're going to march right up   
to the palace and see your father." He said that so simply. But if   
there was anything I had learned in my short life, it was that nothing   
was as easy as it sounded.   
  
Ten minutes later we were on our way. I shielded my hair from   
passers-by more self-conscience about the people of the town now more   
than ever. I felt like everyone's eyes were on us, every whispered word   
about me.   
  
From the side road we traveled I could see the town square   
bustling with activity despite the snow that fell around. I tried to   
picture my mother growing up in this village, and wondered if her   
parents - my grandparents - were still alive. It would be wonderful to   
see them, even if I couldn't tell them who I was.  
  
Long before I felt I was ready, the huge palace loomed ahead of   
us. I began shaking, my heart pounding in apprehension. "Easy," Genjo   
whispered in my ear, rubbing my arms. "You don't have to do this, you   
know."  
  
The idea, now that I was so close to the palace and so scared,   
was appealing. Biting my lip, I glanced around. To our right was a tiny   
cottage, not much bigger than the one I grew up in. Like a sign from   
above, I watched a young girl playing in the snow with her mother and I   
thought about how I would have liked to have done that with my mother.   
But I couldn't, it was too late for that. With a new sense of   
determination I shook my head. "No, Genjo, I have to do this."  
  
"Okay," Genjo replied and hugged me around the waist. "Don't   
worry, I'm with you. Everything will be okay." I nodded. Somehow I   
didn't think it would be okay, but no matter what, I would go forward.  
  
Ahead of us giant arches rose up into the sky and beyond those   
grim gates was the palace. Swallowing forcefully I tried to fight the   
urge to tell Genjo to turn around. We stopped near the gate where two   
guards stood post and demounted the horse. I gripped my husband's hand   
so tightly I'm sure his fingers were going numb, though he didn't   
complain as we approached.  
  
"Your business?" the guard to our left demanded.  
  
I opened my mouth to speak, but couldn't form words. Genjo,   
taking my silence as a sign of how nervous I was, answered instead. "We   
need to see his Highness Setsutarou," he said in a steady voice.  
  
"Is he expecting you?" the guard replied in a tone of voice that   
indicated that he doubted we had an appointment.  
  
I swallowed, finally, though didn't feel better for it. If Genjo   
was anywhere as worried as I was, he didn't show it. "No, he is not."  
  
Out of the corner of my eye I seen the opposite guard shake his   
head and my stomach felt like I had swallowed a brick. If I had came   
this far and didn't get to meet my father... From a part of me I didn't   
know existed, I conjured up the courage to speak. With my free hand I   
pulled the cloak from my head, revealing my waist length emerald hair.   
Smugly I noted the surprise on both guard's face. "I believe he'd want   
to see us."   
  
Blinking, the guard finally regained his pose and nodded,  
indicating we were to follow. I glanced at Genjo, who was smiling   
widely, and we stepped forward.   
  
Our footfalls echoed in the hallway we were lead down. I glanced   
up, estimating the ceiling to be at least thirty feet high. Large oil   
paintings lined the walls, displaying stern looking men and rather   
unhappy looking women. I shivered, the feeling that not much happiness   
lived in the echoes of this place making me worry more. I already knew   
how horrible my grandfather was, who was to know if time hadn't made my   
father the same way? Genjo must have felt the way my hands shook   
because he reached over quickly and kissed my lips, squeezing my hand.   
With a little more courage, I looked straight ahead to the room where   
the guard had stopped. "Wait here," he commanded in a stiff voice and   
disappeared into the room beyond.  
  
I switched my weight from foot to foot nervously, chewing on my   
bottom lip. The enormous hall intimidated me, even if it was the home   
of my father. Voices in my head whispered I didn't belong here, to run.   
But loyalty to my mother's wishes planted my feet firmly to the marble   
floor. The guard emerged from the room and motioned us in. Again Genjo   
squeezed my hand reassuringly and we entered.  
  
The simple magnitude of what was beyond the giant wooden doors   
took my breath away. To think that people lived like this, even took it   
for granted, while others lived in poverty. Two floor to ceiling   
windows over looked the most beautiful garden I had ever seen. Snow had   
covered everything in a thin blanket, causing it to glimmer like   
precious stones. Between the two a large marble fireplace rose up, a   
crackling fire bathing the room in heat. The guard indicated we were to   
sit on the velvet sofa to the right. I sat, feeling my body sink into   
the cushions. A long table sat in front of us, as well as two chairs   
that matched the sofa we were on. There were three large paintings on   
various walls; two of a man that I could only assume was my father. I   
could see certain resemblances in our features; I had his nose, chin   
and hair color. The third picture was also of my father, but in it was   
also a woman. She was pretty, with fair blonde hair that was nearly   
white and startling green eyes. But it was hard to see her features   
without noticing the look on her face of absolute misery. The painting   
was done in this very room and the woman's eyes seem to be cast towards   
the window, longingly. I shivered, looking to the door that the guard   
had left through.  
  
Aside from the sounds of the fire, there was complete silence. It   
seemed to stretch on forever until abruptly being broken by a distinct   
tapping that reminded me of wood being hit on a hard surface. Curiously   
I stared at the double doors as the sound grew louder. The door finally   
opened and the guard returned. "Stand," he commanded.  
  
Genjo and I obeyed, my eyes staring into the doorway. Suddenly a   
figure appeared. I blinked, surprised. The old man who came through the   
door, while not my father, resembled the pictures on the wall enough   
that instantly I knew who it was.  
  
My grandfather.  
  
King Chronos entered the room, his steely cold eyes riveted on   
me. He walked with a cane, but it didn't take away from the aurora of   
authority that seemed to surround him and made my stomach lurch. His   
hair was thin and filled with gray that nearly over rode the presence   
of any green. The age spots scattered around his neck were barely   
visible from the deep bronze color of his skin. He seemed to be sizing   
me up, barely flicking a glance at Genjo before sighing deeply. "Sit,"   
he demanded, his voice deep and seemingly booming in the high ceilings   
of the room. "I knew that you'd haunt me, child. Just as your mother   
promised. I have known for fourteen years that one day you'd show up on   
my doorstep."  
  
My palms were sweating so badly that I longed to wipe them on my   
skirt, but I didn't move. My grandfather's cold demeanor made my nerves   
stand on end as we stared at each other. "So, what's your name girl?"  
  
I swallowed, determined not to let my nervousness show through.   
This man, no matter how old now, was the same that threw my mother out   
into the streets with her newborn. I refused to loose face before him.   
"Setsuna A--Meiou," I replied, nearly forgetting my married name.  
  
"And you?" he turned his head, now glaring at my husband.  
  
"Genjo Meiou," my husband replied in a loud clear voice that   
showed no fear like that I felt. "I am Setsuna's husband," he added   
proudly.  
  
"Husband?" Chronos snorted as if the idea were absurd. "So you,   
like your mother, whores around as well? Even got this one to marry   
you?"  
  
I felt anger boil in my views and redden my face, but I didn't   
speak before Genjo had bolted up from his seat. "You have no right to   
insult her like that!" he bellowed, his fist clinched as he stood up.  
  
"Sit down fool," Chronos hissed, his cold eyes flashing. "I don't   
need to hear your excuses of nobility. I heard them from my son when   
your mother seduced him as she has no doubt done to you. Yes, like   
mother like daughter. Only I rid my home of her mother before it was   
too late, where it's already too late for you."  
  
It took all the strength I had to hold Genjo to my side. I could   
see his anger, but I knew if he attacked the King he'd be beheaded.   
Chronos, however, seemed amused by my husband's loyalty to me. "So what   
is it you want, Setsuna?" he asked lowly, spitting my name like it was   
a bitter taste in his mouth. "How much money will it take to rid you   
from my troubles?"  
  
"Money?" I replied, confused. "I don't want your filthy money," I   
continued in a voice of one insulted. Hotly, I leaned forward. "I want   
to meet my father. I promised my mother on her deathbed I would and   
that's what I intend to do!"  
  
To my complete surprise and bewilderment, my grandfather chuckled   
lightly at my words, twisting his cane between his hands idly. "What   
spirit you have, I recognize it." He stared, considering me a moment.   
"You have you mother's spirit, girl. Yes..." his voice trailed off,   
hiding something that for a second sounded strange to my ears. What was   
it? Admiration? Or, even love? Surely not, I told myself quickly. He   
sighed, glancing up at the portrait of my father and the young girl.   
Pointing with his cane, he spoke: "My daughter-in-law," he said as if I   
had asked who it was. "My son loved her like no other since... well,   
since your mother. But she didn't want to marry him. So, I forced her   
to," he said like he was talking of breeding animals.  
  
I stared at him in horror. "You can't force someone to feel what   
they don't," I said without thinking, now understanding why the girl   
looked so unhappy.  
  
"I suppose you're right," Chronos mumbled, looking away from the   
picture. "She killed herself last year in this very room we sit in." I   
gasped, not only for the story, but also because of the light tone he   
used when saying it. "I imagine," he continued, breaking my thoughts.   
"That you maybe just what my son needs to get his mind off other   
things."  
  
And that's the way he said it, like an order he had placed for   
someone to cheer up my father.  
  
@------  
  
There was to be a ball the next evening for my father's thirty-  
fourth birthday. Chronos had given us an invitation. He gave strict   
instructions for us to explain ourselves as cousins that were visiting   
and not to give more explanation than that. Nervously I now stood in   
front of the mirror, snapping gold ball earrings into my ears. I had   
pulled my hair up into a twist, allowing spiral curls to fall loosely   
around my face.  
  
We had been given clothes to wear for the occasion. And although   
I wasn't too happy about meeting my father for the first time in a   
crowded room, I had to admit I was slightly excited. I wore a dress of   
deep red, nearly black, that fell to the floor and clung to my body.   
The top had thin straps holding it up and the front dipped down to   
barely show a shadow of my cleavage. I wore only my wedding band,   
earrings and the necklace Genjo had given me for jewelry.  
  
I emerged from the bathroom just as Genjo was fighting with his   
bow tie. I giggled as he cursed under his breath, causing him to turn   
to look at me. "How in the he--" He stopped, his mouth opening and   
closing like a fish out of water, staring. "W-wow," he breathed, tie   
forgotten. I blinked, honestly confused about what he was staring at.   
Never in a million years did I think I could cause such a reaction.   
"You look.... beautiful," my husband mumbled, coming towards me.   
Gently, like a caressing wind, he wrapped his arms around my waist.  
  
I felt a blush heat my face and neck as he gasped at me   
appreciatively. "Thank you," I replied just as shocked with his   
reaction as he seemed to be with me. He pressed his lips to mine   
briefly, as if afraid he'd ruin me if he held on too long or too tight.  
  
I helped him with his tie and we grabbed our cloaks. Even I had   
to admit he was easily the most handsome man I had ever seen, decked   
out in a tuxedo that he seemed slightly uncomfortable in. Chronos had   
sent a carriage for us and it stood waiting as we came downstairs.  
  
The elderly gentleman behind the counter stared, open mouth, as   
we descended. I laughed softly at his expression as Genjo bid him   
goodnight and we left. The carriage was a simple one, two horses and a   
man steering them, but it was exciting for me, because I had never been   
in one. As we started for the palace, I watched as the people stopped   
what they were doing to watch us go by.  
  
As the palace once more came into view, I felt the familiar sense   
of nerves wash over me and I fought to keep my hands steady. We pulled   
up to the front of the palace and stopped in front of a set of long   
stairs that lead up to the doorway. Genjo exited the carriage first and   
held his hand up to help me. I couldn't help but stare once I was out   
of the carriage. There were at least forty steps that lead up to two   
enormous glass doors that were wide open. Beyond them the sound of   
people laughing and music drifted to my ears. With a deep breath to   
calm myself I took Genjo's arm and started up the steps.  
  
Almost as if he'd been waiting for us, Chronos was standing on   
the other side of the great doors. I couldn't hide my surprise at   
seeing him, however. The perfect host, King Chronos was laughing loudly   
with a group of men surrounding him. Now it was hard to tell how mean   
and terrible he could be. He spotted us behind the crowd and excused   
himself. "Genjo," he greeted just loud enough to satisfy on-lookers and   
shook my husband's hand. He glanced at me, taking my hand and kissing   
it lightly. "You look beautiful Mrs. Meiou." Once the group of men he   
was taking to had split up, his voice changed to that one I easily   
recognized. "Just remember what I said," he warned and then waved to   
someone behind us and walked off.  
  
"Hmph," my husband mumbled as we started away. "We could scream   
out the truth for all in this room to know if we choose to," he   
mumbled, casting a glance back at my grandfather with an evil gleam in   
his eye.  
  
"We don't want to do that," I told him just as quietly. "We'd   
only get ourselves into trouble. There are guards swarming around this   
place like angry bees." We walked towards the refreshment table, gazing   
at the beautiful decorations. There were several ice sculptures of   
beautiful birds, fountains and flowers like none I had ever seen in my   
life. It was hard to believe that people had so much money that they   
displayed it so elaborately. The cost of just one table of food could   
easily feed a family for a year.  
  
Genjo glanced at the large dance floor and suddenly took my hand.   
"Could I tempt my beautiful wife to dance?"  
  
I laughed as he twirled me around and then held me close as we   
began to dance. Memories flooded my mind as we glided across the room.   
Teaching myself to dance with a book, dreaming of a handsome man that   
came to partner me. My beautiful mother laughing in my bedroom doorway   
and then coming to dance with me until we fell onto the bed...   
laughing...  
  
Suddenly my memory was disturbed by Genjo kissing my lips softly.   
It wasn't a dream--the handsome man of my dreams was here...  
  
"What are you thinking about?" he asked softly.  
  
"Nothing," I mumbled, my eye catching a man walking down the   
giant set of marble stairs in the back of the room. He was tall enough   
that I could see him even though he'd reached the bottom and my breath   
caught as I realized whom this must me. "Genjo," I whispered, nodding   
my head towards the stairs. "There he is; my father."  
  
--End Chapter 2.  
  
There's better author's notes at the bottom of the last chapter, since  
I really should be in bed rather than posting this. ^^  
  
3 Bethany  
12-18-02 


	4. For all eternity

**IMPORTANT Author's Notes at Bottom!!**   
  
Enjoy!  
  
@~~~~~~  
Beyond the Staff  
Chapter 3 - For all eternity...  
By: Bethany  
Editor: Meara  
Rated: PG 13  
@~~~~~~  
  
Genjo swept me around so that he could see towards the stairs. He   
nodded stiffly, looking back at me. "That's got to be him."  
  
I bit my bottom lip, wondering what to do now. My heart was   
pounding in anticipation; I couldn't think. Genjo must have felt me   
tense up in his arms because he guided me towards the balcony doors,   
away from the music and lights; away from the man I had never laid eyes   
on, even though his blood ran through my veins.   
  
I was thankful to be outside in the night's cool air, however. I   
felt I could breathe deeper out here, without my mind clouded up with   
fear. Genjo held me close to his body, rubbing my back reassuringly.   
"Now what do I do?" I mumbled against him, staring out at the gardens   
in the back of the palace. "Go up to him? Introduce myself? Will he   
recognize me?"   
  
"Shhh," Genjo whispered. "Don't think so much about it, just calm   
down. You'll be fine."   
  
But I didn't feel fine, I felt like if I went back in that over   
crowded room I would suffocate, faint and cause a huge scene. Squeezing   
my eyes shut I gripped Genjo's tuxedo jacket with nearly a death grip   
while he continued to whisper reassuring words in my ear.   
  
After nearly a half hour passed, I felt my heart begin to calm   
slightly. We sat down in one of the shadowed benches that looked out   
over the kingdom. As we sat in the silence, I found myself wondering   
what it would have been like if my mother and father had married; if I   
had grown up in this palace with riches and gold beyond my imagination.   
Would I still have known the love I had known with my mother? Or would   
material things eat away the meaning of love and gratitude? I hadn't   
known this life, though. And I'm not too sure I would have picked it   
over the one I had. All of those people in there, with their fancy   
dresses and plastered smiles; I didn't envy them. I wasn't even sure if   
I wanted to fit in with them.  
  
"You ready to go back in?" Genjo asked quietly, his lips near my   
ear.   
  
I nodded, shakily standing. Genjo pressed me firmly to his side   
as we made our way back in the palace. The room was now so full of   
people that it was hard to distinguish one person from the next. Women   
stood in clumps, talking. Men stood together, laughing loudly. Some   
couples dances, others ate. I didn't see my father anywhere as Genjo   
pulled me out onto the dance floor again, holding me close.  
  
His lips brushed my temples as we spun around, making me giggle.   
We danced song after song, caught up in the lights and sounds of the   
music that filled the hall. And I was so happy; so content in his arms   
that I could have stayed that way for all eternity.  
  
... for all eternity ...  
  
A shot and then a scream. It seemed to slice the music in half,   
cutting off every conversation. Someone else screamed. I turned,   
looking around at the clump of panicked people. Some were running for   
the exits, others were down on the ground. Women cried, men shouted.  
  
Again, a scream... was that me? Genjo shoved me to the ground,   
his body covering mine. His breathing was heavy in my face as he looked   
around wildly for what was going on. "Oh God," he mumbled. "Someone...   
someone is shooting..." I could hear the shouts of people, the   
screaming--it all blurred together into one frightening wave of panic.  
  
Genjo suddenly gasped, his eyes glaring hard across the room.  
"Setsuna," he whispered to me, his breath hot on my ears and face.   
"Stay down. Whatever you do, don't move."  
  
"What are you..?" I gasped as he suddenly bolted up and ran   
towards the front doors. "GENJO!" I screamed, turning over to see where   
he was going. "NO GENJO! COME BACK!" But it was no use...   
  
No use...   
  
A shot...  
  
I could see the blood splatter, guards running in the room from   
every door. Blood... blood...  
  
Everywhere... it was everywhere...  
  
I stumbled up, clutching my sides as I ran, my bare feet stinging   
on the marble floor as I threw my shoes off to run faster. Genjo fell   
backwards, holding his hand over his chest. Blood. Everywhere. Every   
sound stopped, silence ripped through me; nothing but the scream that   
ripped through my lips and pierced the still night. "NO!"  
  
I slid to my knees at Genjo's head, taking no heed of the bodies   
lying around me. I didn't notice the guards fighting to over take   
several mad men and drag them away. I didn't notice that the body next   
to my husband's was none other than that of my father's. All I could   
see was Genjo' blood staining his white shirt under his tuxedo jacket.   
I ripped the jacket away, my eyes staring blankly at the large area of   
blood growing larger still. Genjo was fighting to keep his eyes open,   
his trembling hand reaching up to touch my cheek. "Oh GOD!" I screamed,   
placing my hand over the wound. "Genjo... Genjo, you got to be all   
right. PLEASE!" I cried.  
  
Genjo's cold hand brushed away a tear on my face and I covered   
his hand with my own, leaning down so I could kiss his lips. "Please,   
don't die, Genjo. Please don't die..." I begged, kissing his lips over   
and over... and over... "Please..."  
  
"I love you, Setsuna," he whispered, a tear rolling down the side   
of his face and onto the white marble floor. "Always... always remember   
that I'll love you... always love you..."  
  
"... for all eternity ..."   
  
His brown eyes; those beautiful, piercing brown eyes that had   
stared at me with such longing, such love, such passion... rolled back   
in his head as his eyes closed for the last time. His hand that I had   
been gripping so hard fell limp. I stared at his lifeless body in   
shock, my mouth open in a silent scream that refused to leave my   
throat. I stared, my eyes began hurting, but I couldn't move. Someone   
was trying to take his hand from me, but I wouldn't budge. I couldn't.  
  
"Come on dear, there's nothing we can do," someone, a woman, was   
saying in my ear. "Come on, then," she whispered, trying to help me up.   
I shook my head fiercely, still gripping his hand. We had just been   
dancing... just kissed... just... he was just...  
  
Gone.  
  
I screamed. Over and over again I let out a piercing scream that   
even hurt my own ears; tears flooded my face in a gush like a river   
breaking over a dam. Scream and scream, and scream again. And suddenly,   
thankfully, all went black.  
  
@--------  
  
I awoke slowly, my head pounding so hard that I couldn't think.   
Candles dimly lighted the room I was laying in and in I could hear   
people talking in quiet tones. Groaning, I sat up. That's when I saw   
the blood on my hands, arms and dress. It all came crashing back to me   
like a bad dream, Genjo... Genjo, my husband, was dead - dead. I'd   
never wake up to see his smiling face again. Never would I see the   
slight blush that stained his face when I caught him staring at me.   
Never would I feel his arms around my body again. Never again. Just   
like my mother.   
  
I gripped the sheets with my hands, head bowed as I cried my   
heart out. My newly repaired heart that had learned to love again after   
my mother passed away, only to be broken again in less than a month's   
time. I cried until I couldn't cry anymore, until I was dry. But that   
didn't stop the painful pounding of my heart and the aching that would   
make its home in my body for thousands of years to come.  
  
There was a suddenly hush of the people that was across the room.   
I paid them no attention though, until a new, deeper voice, told them   
to leave me be. Heavy footsteps came across the room, but only when   
they stopped at my bedside did I look up. It was my grandfather.  
  
He sat on the edge of the bed, uncomfortably, it seemed, and   
stared at the floor. After what seemed an eternity, he spoke, without   
looking up. "I'm--I'm sorry about Genjo," he said quietly, twitching   
again uncomfortably. "I came to tell you... that, well, my son -- he   
was--is dead, too."  
  
I gasped, staring up at him though he continued to stare at the   
floor. My father? I hadn't even got to say a single word to him... he   
was dead? I bit my lip, trying to hold back another wave of tears that   
threatened to fall from my eyes. It didn't work. I buried my face in my   
hands and cried again, for a father I hadn't got to know. For a husband   
I barely knew, for my mother whom I had failed.  
  
I don't remember Chronos leaving me. I didn't care anyways. I   
fell back onto the bed, burying my face into my pillow as I wept for   
all that should have been. Unknowing of what lay ahead, of my future.   
Uncaring if the world stopped today, for it would make no difference to   
me. I cried myself into a deep sleep, again thankful for the darkness   
behind my eyes that allowed me to forget for a few precious hours.  
  
The next morning a woman brought me a tray of food and bugged me   
until I ate something. She practically dragged me to the baths and   
washed me herself, mumbling all the time. "You poor dear," she said   
sadly, her own eyes filling with tears. "Your husband... you poor   
dear..." she whispered, brushing my hair until it was practically dried   
and gleamed. I didn't care, though. I didn't care if I ever looked   
pretty again. It didn't matter.  
  
The woman bustled around, getting me dressed as I sat and stared   
straight ahead. She clucked her tongue against the roof of her mouth,   
shaking her head at me. "Just lay down and rest, dear," she mumbled,   
covering me up. "Just rest."  
  
The day came and went, and I paid no attention. Just laid in bed,   
my eyes closed as I tried to forget my pain. In the early evening a   
guard came into my room, bowing respectfully as he approached. "Excuse   
me, Miss, I'm sorry to bother you. His Majesty wants a word and I was   
sent to fetch you."  
  
I didn't have the strength to argue. I pushed the covers aside   
and stood up, following the guard down several halls until we stopped   
in front of a set of doors that looked vaguely familiar. It wasn't   
until we stepped in that I realized it was Chronos' set of rooms. He   
was sitting in one of the chairs by the fire, staring at the flames;   
memorized.  
  
I sat down across from him, looking at the same flames that held   
his rapt attention. Minutes ticked by, we said nothing, didn't even   
move. I can't say it was a comfortable silence, but it wasn't tense,   
either. We just sat and stared in silence until suddenly his voice   
broke it.  
  
It wasn't the voice I remembered; the cocky attitude was gone,   
leaving what appeared to be a grieving man. Against my will, I found   
myself listening to him. "I have something to tell you, to explain to   
you. Something that will be as hard for you to hear as it is for me to   
say; to own up to." He sighed greatly, his body seeming to shrink from   
the effort. Slowly he began talking again.  
  
"Fifteen years ago your mother came to this palace, summoned   
randomly to be a lady-in-waiting for my youngest daughter. From the   
moment she was introduced to me, I was enthralled. She was so   
beautiful, even in her grief for her parents. I sought her out, tried   
to talk to her. But she wanted nothing to do with me." He sighed and I   
found that my hands were clutched on my knees as I stared at him, my   
knuckles white as I waited with baited breath for him to continue.  
  
"For months, against my better judgment, I sought her out. She   
refused me time and time again, even began spending more time with my   
son so that I couldn't approach her. She even threatened to tell him   
what I was doing if I didn't stop. But I couldn't... and in the end, I   
raped her." His words died in the air, but in my head I heard them over   
and over again. My mouth fell open, but I lacked the coherent thoughts   
to say anything. I just stared as Chronos hung his head low, his eyes   
closed.  
  
I couldn't believe my ears. Surely this was a nightmare, built   
upon so many. I would wake up in my bed, my mother's calming voice   
telling me it was all right. Surely... surely if I closed my eyes, and   
reopened them. Please...  
  
"I understand if you hate me. I hated myself for doing it,"   
Chronos' voice came to me as if from the far end of a long hallway,   
echoing through my mind. "She came to me a couple of months later and   
told me she was with child, and threatened to tell the kingdom of my   
attack. Before I could stop her, she ran to my son. But she didn't tell   
him, like I feared. No, she had grown to love my son and couldn't stand   
telling him she was pregnant with another's child. Especially his own   
father's. So she told him it was his."  
  
My mind reeled, making my vision blur. I shook my head, digging   
my nails into my arms, which bled. "No," I mumbled. "No--you're lying!   
My mother told me... she told me how she fell in love with my father...   
how she became pregnant... she..." I chocked down a sob, hugging my   
arms around me tightly. "I don't believe you! My mother wouldn't lie to   
me!" I screamed tears running down my face though I cursed them for   
making me appear weak. "You're lying!"  
  
Chronos stood, going over to the fireplace and stared into the   
dancing flames. He took a deep breath and turned to me. "I'm not lying.   
When I asked your mother about it, she said that she had slept with   
Setsutarou when she was two months pregnant. She was planning to let   
him think she was having a premature birth." He laughed, insanely. "By   
the time she gave birth, she wanted that child --you-- to be   
Setsutarou's so badly that I think she believed it. Really believed it.   
Of course, I couldn't have her running around the kingdom telling   
everyone about you, so I banished her and you. I told her I'd kill you   
both if she returned and just hours after she gave birth, I kicked her   
out."  
  
"You bastard," I spat, my eyes, though still filled with tears,   
burning now with hatred. I stood up shakily, glaring at him as if   
willing him to die on the spot. "You evil, low, dirty bastard! How dare   
you rape my mother! How dare you stand here so casually and talk about   
it as if it were nothing! You... you..." I staggered forward, pulling   
my hand back and slapping him across the face as hard as I could and   
spat at him, my breathing heavy.  
  
Chronos said nothing; he didn't even look up at me. I just stood   
there, paralyzed by what he had said--what he had done. The side of his   
face grew red in the shape of my hand, but I felt no remorse. Just   
hatred. A burning hatred that would take me many years to overcome.   
"Why?" I spat, my eyes boring into him. "Why did you tell me this now?"  
  
Chronos walked away from the fireplace and sank into one of the   
chairs. He didn't remind me in the least of that strong man whom I had   
meet just three days prior--he looked defeated in life. Behind him lay   
the bodies of his children... except one. And if he thought he was   
going to make everything better in my life, he was dead wrong. But that   
wasn't what he had in mind.  
  
His magenta eyes stared up at me again, his eye lids dropping   
low, his jaw line no longer strong, but weak. "Setsuna, whatever your   
feelings are--you are the only child I have left. My daughter died   
years ago... and now my son... I know there is nothing I can do to   
repair the past. I have always known this, as it is my curse and   
destiny, just as it is yours."   
  
"What are you talking about?" I mumbled, still staring at him   
from where I stood at the fireplace. I don't know how I kept my legs   
from buckling so that I could stand there, glaring at him. I felt so   
weak and trembling inside that I could faint, but I wouldn't. I would   
be strong. I would do what I had to do. Just like I always had--like I   
always would.  
  
"Setsuna, we are the holders of Time. Our family has kept it a   
secret from anyone that we possess the ability to move through time.   
But now... now Queen Serenity has come to me with a request for a   
Guardian of that Gate. There is a small mass of people on Earth who   
have found out about the Moon Kingdom's people and their life span and   
wish to obtain it. The Moon Kingdom is strong, and the Queen believes   
she can contain this problem -- but she is still in fear for the Time   
Gate. For in the wrong hands it will kill us all."   
  
He swallowed, once more raising his eyes to look at me. "I told   
her about you and that I would speak with you about it. There will be a   
transport in two hours time if you choose to accept. Setsuna, I'm not   
asking you to do this for my sake. I'm an old man who has done so many   
wrongs in my life that surely the God Hades will have no mercy. I'm   
asking you this for the good of us all."  
  
I swallowed, though I didn't feel better for it. There was a   
thick substance in my mouth that burned like fire. My arms still   
wrapped around my mid section, I started towards the door, not once   
looking back.  
  
My hands shook as I sat on the bed, staring at the wedding band I   
hadn't wore but five days. Its matching band would be buried on my   
husband's finger. I shivered, another gush of tears welling up from   
inside me. Tears that would do me no good. I fought them back, taking a   
determined vow that I wouldn't cry another tear for another human. I   
wouldn't allow myself to become so close to another that my heart could   
be ripped apart like it is now. A vow that I would break in good time.  
  
I stood, filling my pathetically small suitcase with what few   
belongs I had. My wedding band was laid in the bottom, with a picture   
of Genjo and his Mom and Dad I had found in his belongings, clothes,   
brushes and at last... I reached up to remove the necklace from around   
my neck, but couldn't. The small key laying on my chest would forever   
stand as the key to my past, the key to where my heart would forever   
lay--in a small grave with my husband, and the cold unmarked grave of   
my mother. A small knock on the door that startled me away from my   
memories. "Yes?"  
  
"His Majesty wants me to inform you the transport is here. Will   
you be boarding it?" the guard asked.  
  
I nodded my head and quickly he came over to take the small bag   
from my grip. "Follow me, then."  
  
The halls again all look the same, just as they did when I first   
entered this palace four days ago. The transport was nothing more than   
a tall glass room with a button that was currently glowing. I stepped   
in, caring not that my father wasn't here; I didn't care if I ever laid   
yes on him again. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and pushed the   
button. There was a giant rushing sound, but I felt nothing. Then, just   
as quickly as it began, it stopped.  
  
My first thought was that it hadn't worked, I was still on Pluto.   
However, the man that opened the door was definitely not the same guard   
I had seen a moment before. His eyes were light blue and his skin was   
whiter than any I have ever seen. I blinked, gathering my bag closer to   
me. "Setsuna, Princess of Pluto?" the man asked in an official voice.   
  
I nodded, surprised at the title. I wasn't a Princess. I didn't   
even want to be related to the King of Pluto. But given this man didn't   
know all of that, I nodded more firmly and stepped out of the transport   
room. My mouth gapped open at what I saw as I stepped out of that room   
and into the Moon Kingdom. Things such as I had only read about in   
school were now before me. The Earth hung gently in the sky, the sun   
basking down on my skin so warmly that I could feel it. The sun had   
reached Pluto, but never like this. Never so bright it nearly blinded   
you, and so strongly that the warmth kissed your skin.  
  
The guard walked slowly, as if understanding this was so new to   
me that all I could do was stare around. Beautiful flowers as I had   
never laid eyes on were everywhere. There were fountains that pushed   
water ten even twenty feet into the air. We walked into a corridor and   
all of the outside was blocked from my view. It was replaced with   
paintings and carved marble, such beauty that it took my breath away.   
There was a shouting ahead, and gales of laughter. Curiously I came up   
beside the guard who had stopped and waited.  
  
Flying around the corner of the hall was a toddler, her blonde   
hair up in two small pony tails and a tiny white gown on her figure.   
She stopped when she seen me, barely looking back for the person who   
was running after her. "Who are you?" she asked so clearly that I was   
startled. Was it normal for children so small to talk so clearly?  
  
I bent down to her level so I could look into her bright blue   
eyes. On her forehead, proud and bright, was a crescent moon. I gasped.   
This wasn't just any toddler, this was Princess Serenity! It took me a   
moment to get my voice to come out as clearly as I would like. "I'm   
Setsuna," I whispered, still in awe of the two year old before me.  
  
Suddenly someone scooped her up and she squealed. I looked up to   
see a woman in a white nursing outfit put the child on her hip and look   
at her scolding. "Princess, you know better..." she huffed, still quite   
out of breath.  
  
The toddler Princess shrugged, still looking at me as the nurse   
apologized to the guard and started off. "Bye-bye Setsuna!" the toddler   
called, waving her small cubby hand. I lifted my hand, waving to her as   
they rounded the corner, a silly smile on my face.  
  
The guard once again started moving, making no comment about the   
Princess or anything else. I followed him to a large set of double   
doors that had beautiful carvings of the Moon on it. He opened the door   
wide and allowed me to walk inside. In front of me was a long table   
that seated eight people. Each of them I recognized almost instantly   
from the many books I had read as a child. Sitting at the head of the   
table was Queen Serenity, her long silver hair just as he was described   
in books, up in two ponytails with buns at her head, a bright crescent   
moon, identical to Princess Serenity's, shining on her forehead. To her   
left was Aphrodite, the Queen of Venus. To her right, Ares, the King of   
Mars. Down the left side of the table next to Aphrodite were the Queens   
of Mercury and Jupiter. Down the right side of the table, next to Ares   
was the Queens of Uranus, Saturn and Neptune. I couldn't help my stare.  
  
"Please, Princess, come forth and join us," Queen Serenity said   
to me in a pleasing, soft voice that was gently aligned with amusement.   
I sat down next to the Queen of Jupiter, trying not to show how nervous   
I felt being in the room with the Queens and Kings of the Planets. "I'm   
sorry that Chronos couldn't join us today. Setsuna, we have asked you   
to come to us to discuss the protection of the Time Gate. Since you are   
here, we assume you have accepted this position."  
  
I nodded slowly, still in awe of my surroundings. All these women   
were dressed in such beautiful clothing, their complexions so bright   
and their posture so assured. And here I was, in my worn and hand me   
down clothing, sitting amongst them.  
  
Queen Serenity closed her hands in front of her, smiling gently.   
"Then, shall we discuss how this will come about?" she asked the Queens   
at the table.  
  
"There should be some rules, of course," the Queen of Jupiter,   
Rhea, said immediately. "Taboos of a sort that aren't to be trifled   
with."  
  
"Those taboos should be punishable by death," spoke up Ares in   
his booming voice. I felt a shiver go up my spine at those words,   
though surely I'd never find reason to bring that fate on myself.   
  
Queen Serenity's eyes darken at this comment, I noticed. She   
folded her hands before her, staring at them a moment. "I digress. If   
everyone agrees, I would like to discuss this privately. When we have   
made our decisions, we will bring forth Setsuna and explain them as   
told." She turned her soft eyes to me, smiling. "The guard will lead   
you to the kitchens if you would like something to eat. We will call   
for you shortly, my dear."  
  
I swallowed, standing, forever grateful to escape the   
confinements of that room. My stomach felt hollow, and my heart pounded   
in my head to the point that it was becoming painful. I left the room,   
following the guard to the kitchens where a small meal was prepared for   
me. I ate mechanically; barely noticing how different the food was from   
that I was accustomed to. My mind stayed on the discussion in the room   
where all the leaders of the Planets were meeting.  
  
A short hour later the guard returned, as promised, to fetch me   
and bring me to Queen Serenity. When the double doors opened, I was   
surprised to see the room empty but for the tall, graceful figure of   
Queen Serenity. Slowly I stepped forward, glancing uneasily at the   
three things laying on the table beside where Queen Serenity stood. She   
turned, her lips again in that serene smile that put my heart at ease.  
  
She picked up the first object, a long pen looking devise with a   
small model of the planet Pluto on top. "This," she began. "Is your   
transformation stick. When you use this, you will become the Solider of   
Pluto. This will enable you to use the fullness of the powers you have   
from your planet. Hold it above your head, and shout the words 'Pluto   
Planet Power Make-Up!'"  
  
I took the small stick from her hands, turning it over in my own   
to inspect it. Then with a determination I held the stick high, my face   
uplifted towards it. "Pluto Planet Power - Make-up!" There was a   
crashing, brilliant light that engulfed me. A tingling that began in my   
feet and traveled up my body, feeling of every curve and line in my   
skin. It was over as quickly as it started, and slowly I opened my   
eyes. In the mirror behind us, I could see that I now wore a sailor   
outfit; a short skirt, tall boots that nearly reached my knees, and a   
small tiara on my forehead. I blinked at my reflection; she looked so   
much older and wiser than I felt.  
  
Queen Serenity smiled again, her hand now holding another object.   
It was a red orb that glowed slightly. "This," she began, her eyes   
glazed over. "Is a Talisman. There are three; you hold the third and   
most powerful. The other two will be placed inside of two other Senshi,   
for safekeeping. If you join the three together, you will call on the   
Holy Grail. This object will purify everything in the known universe,   
purging it of evil. Let us pray the day never comes that we need to   
bring the three Talismans together." She handed the orb to me, its cool   
surface still glowing slightly. The last object she picked up was a   
long chain of keys. "These are the keys of time. They will open the   
heavens and allow the holder to travel through time."   
  
I fastened the keys around my waist, my eyes still lingering on   
the orb and then moved to Queen Serenity. She looked sadden as my eyes   
meet hers. "There are three rules, things you must keep in mind and   
hold above anything else. You can't break these rules, for anyone. The   
first rule: You must never leave the Time Gate. To do so would put the   
Universe's past, present and future in danger. Your job from now on is   
to guard the Time Gate with your life.  
  
"Rule two: Time travel is forbidden. To alter a past or future   
could destroy the delicate waves of time and bring terrible, terrible   
consequences. Two figures cannot survive in the same time together,   
they will perish within hours. As such, to ensure this doesn't happen,   
to travel through a time not one's own, is forbidden.  
  
"Rule three, and this Setsuna, is the most important of them all.   
For if you break this rule, you in turn give your own life. You must   
never stop time. Even though you have the power to do so, you must   
never use it. Never."  
  
I couldn't breathe, couldn't move. Could do nothing but stare at   
the Queen, my legs trying to give out from under me. I wouldn't fall, I   
wouldn't show weakness.   
  
"Setsuna," the Queen said once more, her eyes downcast. "The last   
thing I tell you is your own choice. And while I don't agree with it,   
it is the best thing all around. No one is to know of the existence of   
the Time Gate. The current Kings and Queens of the Solar System know,   
the royal Pluto family know, and my royal advisors, Luna and Artemis,   
know. You are given the power to pass judgment on any who would   
trespass into the sacred territory you guard or break any of these   
taboos. If you so choose, you may execute any who dare approach the   
Time Gate. I don't agree with it, but I do see where you may not have   
another choice. To take another's life is a grave thing but only you   
can judge the heart of the one who dares to approach you. I leave this   
up to you to decide."  
  
Her eyes flashed at me, not my face though. Gently her hand came   
towards me, picking up the tiny key shaped charm on my necklace. "May I   
see this?" she asked quietly. I took the necklace off, handing it to   
her hesitantly. She took the key off the chain, handing the chain back   
to me. To my amazed eyes, the charm floated in air between us and   
suddenly started to grow. The bottom of it expanded until it hit the   
ground as the top grew larger. When it stopped it was nearly seven feet   
tall.  
  
Queen Serenity took the orb she had given me earlier and placed   
it atop the staff where it locked in place. The ends of the metal key   
came up to join around the orb in a heart shape. I gasped as she handed   
it to me. "You'll know what to do with this if the time ever comes."  
  
I nodded, wrapping my fingers around the staff and looking up at   
its majestic beauty in awe.  
  
@--------  
  
The sun fell behind the Moon's horizon that night, and I never   
saw it rise up again. I bid farewell to my Queen, and stepped into   
the Time Gate and the fog that would shape my days. My footsteps echoed   
around me, my breathing seemingly increased a hundred fold.  
  
For four thousand years I walked the Corridor of Time, hearing   
nothing but an empty silence in my ears. Through a small channel that   
allowed me to see beyond Time and Space, I seen the Moon Kingdom fall   
to the evils that had begun just twelve years before. I watched as   
Queen Serenity give her last breath to save her child, the Soldiers of   
the Planets and all the people who died in the war. That day I cried. I   
cried for the people who so innocently lost their lives, I cried for   
the Princess that killed herself for the one she loved. I knew how she   
felt, I understood perhaps better than anyone the need to die along   
with that person who held your heart.  
  
That was the last day I watched the screen. I couldn't bear to   
lay my eyes on the ruined Moon Kingdom, or the vast emptiness that   
followed until those people would be reborn. Day and night made no   
difference to me, I cared not what time it was, what year, what month.   
Time had trapped me so that it didn't matter.  
  
My lonely life spared me from the pain of loosing those I would   
love, but didn't spare me the pain of needing someone to love; of   
needing something to grasp onto. Something real, not images, not   
memories.  
  
It came to me one day in the vast emptiness in the form of a   
toddler, no more than two years old. A toddler who looked so much like   
the one I had laid eyes on in my youth. With a crescent moon symbol   
shining brightly on her forehead -- just like the child before me.   
Uneasily I picked her up, looking into her large cinnamon colored eyes.   
She cocked her head at me, smiling. "Who are you?" she asked through a   
clear voice, so clear that I gasped.  
  
"I'm Sailor Pluto," I told her, the sound of my own voice   
frightening me. How long had it been since I had spoke to another   
human?  
  
"Pl..plu..." she tried to sound out, the word obviously foreign   
to her lips. "Puu?" she asked, her head once more cocked to the side.  
  
I smiled at her; a smile that she returned as she suddenly   
wrapped her arms around my neck. "Puu!" she giggled, her warm body   
pressed against mine. I felt a trickling of tears come back to my eyes.   
My heart warmed and filled with a feeling I couldn't quite place. It   
made my heart pound and warmth spread through my entire body.  
  
"Who are you?" I asked her, suddenly having an urge to place a   
kiss on her soft strawberry colored curls.  
  
"Princess Small Lady," she told me, her head held higher. So   
young, yet so smart. Just like Princess Serenity. I wondered...  
  
"Hello?"  
  
Both Small Lady and I jerked our heads towards the voice. The   
time had come, I knew. Queen Serenity's words echoed in my heart. I had   
the right to kill those who entered the passage. But could I do it? I   
looked at the toddler in my arms whose eyes were huge. "Mama?" she   
whispered.  
  
From our left clicked shoes on the marble floor of the Corridor.   
Slowly the fog pulled back, allowing a figure to come through. I   
gasped. A long white dress, two buns that held floor length hair up, a   
crown... and a golden crescent moon brightly shining from her forehead.   
She stopped, her mouth and eyes also wide open. She looked from me to   
the toddler I held and back again. I couldn't move. "Q--Queen   
Serenity?" I breathed. But I had seen her die! my mind screamed. She   
used the Power of the Moon to send the Princess... the Princess...   
"No," I whispered. "Princess Serenity."  
  
The woman just stared at me as I shakily got to one knee, placing   
Small Lady on the ground. "Who are you?" she whispered as Small Lady   
ran up to her, tugging on her dress.  
  
"Puu!" the child giggled, pointing at me. "That's Puu!"  
  
"Puu?" Serenity repeated, her eyes glancing at Small Lady and   
then back to me. "You can't be... Sailor Pluto?" she whispered, picking   
the child up so that she would stop pulling on her dress. I nodded,   
still on one knee. "I thought you were just a legend," she whispered.   
"My goodness! I--I shouldn't be here then. You are to bring death on   
any who enter your Corridor..."  
  
"Your Majesty, I would never bring harm to you," I told her   
firmly, laying my Time Staff down. "My loyalties have always lain with   
the Moon Queen and her daughter. And now," I added, glancing at the   
pink haired child in her arms. "Her daughter's daughter."  
  
"Usako?"  
  
Another voice; deeper, stronger. I gasped as a man came into the   
corridor, standing just behind Princess Serenity and gaping at me. I   
knew that man, had seen him so many thousands of years ago. On the   
Moon, falling into Princess Serenity's arms... "Prince Endymion?" I   
whispered, my mouth gone dry. "You lived. You... " I felt tears clog my   
throat as I seen him wrap his arm protectively around Serenity. "You   
were reborn, you found each other!" I gasped, so thankful. At least her   
story didn't end as mine did.  
  
"Please, Sailor Pluto," Endymion said, obviously not nearly as   
surprised by my existence as Serenity was. "Please forgive Small Lady   
for disturbing you. We'll be sure she doesn't return."  
  
"No!" I squeaked before I even had time to think about what I was   
doing. "No, it's fine. I don't mind her coming in here at all. It would   
be... be an honor for her to visit me, keep me company. I--I really   
don't mind."  
  
Serenity's eyes looked at me and she smiled, the same smile I had   
seen on her mother oh so many years ago. That serene smile that said   
she understood human emotions far better than anyone that lived in any   
lifetime. Love for all; endless caring for anyone who crossed her path.   
It was beautiful.  
  
That day marked the end of my solitaire existence. Small Lady   
came to me again and again, and I watched her grow into a beautiful   
Princess. I broke the rule I made for myself; and I grew to love her   
like she had been my own. Representing all the children I didn't or   
would never have. She and her parents became my life. My reason for no   
longer fearing the rest of eternity inside the gate.  
  
I suppose some rules were meant to be broken. And others would be   
whether they were meant to or not. For Time is strange that way. It   
bends, stretches to accommodate so much -- and still flow on...  
  
For all eternity...  
  
--The End.  
  
Now, let's talk author's notes ^_^ For anyone who reads my stories   
enough to notice that it's been forever and a day since I've updated,   
allow me to make my excuses. I'm sorry to say that what I've wondered   
about for years is finally happening. I'm not as motivated to write   
anymore, at least not like I used to. I'm especially turning away from   
writing SM fanfiction. This means a couple of things:  
  
The series that I promised with stories like this one, on all of the   
Senshi, will not be done. This will be the only story. I've simpily   
lost the desire to do into dept with each character. I'm happy with   
this story and I don't want to ruin it with forcing stories on the   
other senshi.  
  
There will be a lot of time between updates of my remaining unfinished   
SM stories. I plan to finish them, but we're looking at apx. one   
chapter a month, if that. I do plan to finish all work I have in   
progress at this time. I will still put out more stories, but not   
anything in length like I have been. Unless I get some inspiration from   
somewhere, but I don't look for it.   
  
So if I'm not writing SM fanfiction, what am I doing? I've started some   
pieces of Harry Potter fanfiction. But other than that, I haven't been   
writing. This could just be a phase I'm going through, I did it one   
other time and then returned to writing full fledge. But it seems a   
little different than that this time around. So I want to thank   
everyone who has supported me through out my writing career, and I hope   
that other authors more motivated than me continue to put their dreams,   
thoughts and ideas into words for the rest of us to enjoy.  
  
3 Bethany  
12-18-02 


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